Romeo vs Juliet
by SkyFireDragon13
Summary: Everyone tries out for a play, but the casting isn't exactly what they expected...awkwardness and hilarity ensue. Please read and review!
1. What's A Play?

  
  
Hi everyone! Sky Fire Dragon here. I got the idea for this fic after being FORCED to study Romeo and Juliet last year for English.makes mean pouty face My friend Anica106 meanly suggested I would like it if the YYH charac's did it instead, so shut up b/c she had to study; and the result was the inspiration for this fic. She has inspired many 1/2 (or completely) demented ideas for my writings by her sarcasm when annoyed, and has yet to learn that I TRUST her and take her SERIOUSLY (and I have yet to learn it would b better for my health not to listen to her) so, In short, this is my fic. Non-yaoi, despite what it looks like. Rated PG-13 to be on the safe side; you all know Youko. Please read and reply, flames will b promptly swallowed and regurgitated in sender's direction. Sky Fire Dragon signing out.

((Hey, this is Anica106. SFD asked me to proofread this for her. Sorry if there are still any mistakes; it was the middle of the night, so I may have missed a few. (She had better appreciate it, too--it took me forever. --) So, on her behalf, please read and review, and if you do see a spelling/grammar mistake, don't flame her out about it, because getting rid of it was supposed to be my job. Incidentally, SFD does not own Yu Yu Hakusho. ))

Chapter 1 What's a play???  
  
Kurama looked at Hiei. He had just dropped both his jaw and his katana to the floor in surprise, and was narrowing his eyes suspiciously at him. "What?" He retrieved his katana and resumed cleaning it.

"I'm trying out for a play, Hiei. Romeo and Juliet, it's a Classic. Shakespeare wrote it. They are putting on a play and I would like to be in it." Hiei gave him a derisive snort.

"Hn. What's a play?"

Kurama hid his smile. While Hiei would never admit to an interest in ningen doings, he was not willing to remain completely ignorant, out of a sense of self-preservation developed over a long life of trial-by-error. It simply wasn't smart to not be aware of the customs and life style's of the place you stayed.

"Like a movie Hiei, except it's not on TV; it's live. And if you participate in it, you attend practices and perform however many times it shows. It's fun; you should do it with me." He smiled encouragingly at Hiei, who gave him the death look.

"Hn. Why would I want to be in some stupid ningen thing?"

"Well, you would be able to see more of me," Kurama tried, hiding a smirk.

"I see enough of you already, kitsune. I sleep here don't I?" he held up the blade to the light, examining the edge. Kurama smiled, knowing how particular Hiei was about his sword. He kept it in top condition, and killed anyone who tried to touch it, with the exception of Kurama himself, and even then he better have a good reason.

"In a tree," he countered, and leaned over, pointing with his rose at a dull spot. Hiei frowned and ran his rag over it viciously, as though it's presence on HIS sword warranted as the highest offense. It probably did.

"But I still see you." he replied, bent on the task at hand. "I suppose you need to leave then for that baka play thing?"   
"Kurama shrugged. "Momentarily. However, I was hoping you would run lines with me, to help me get ready. And perhaps come to the audition to watch." He looked up at Hiei, hopeful he'd agree--he always had so much fun whenever Hiei accompanied him anywhere. Things never seemed to stay dull for long with a surely, curious fire demon around.

Hiei finished examining his blade for less than mirror-bright patches, stood, and held it out. He ran a few practice drills, sword whistling through the air, slicing just past Kurama's hair and turning into a stream of light as he picked up speed. He finished, and held it out for Kurama's inspection, smirking his approval at it. Kurama leaned over and examined it.

"That IS nice," he admitted, running the tip of one finger down it's length. Hiei glowed silently by his side, eyes full of pride.

"Took forever to clean it properly after all the abuse it went through in our LAST mission." He scowled at the memory while Kurama chuckled. They'd been in need of a lock pick for a huge door, and Hiei's sword had been elected. Later on it had also been used as a pole to launch Kuwabara into a 2nd story window. Quite other than the usual fighting and demon blood. Kurama had a slight suspicion it was Kuwabara's handling of it that made Hiei bristle so.

"So, Hiei, will I have your company?" he asked, smiling still.

"Do you need me?" He asked, sheathing his sword and glancing curiously at Kurama, as though honestly unable to understand this request.

"Well, no," he admitted, caught off guard. "But it would still be nice. I would enjoy your company. And generally you try and support a friend's endeavors."

"Hn. Well, I suppose so," he replied, looking out the window in a bored fashion "You'd get bored with out me there."

"Yes, Hiei, I'm certain I will be much more entertained with your presence there." He hid his smile, noticing as he did so that the double meaning had gone completely over the shorter demons head (a/n: snickers) Hiei jumped up.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go." He started out the door. Once he got motivated to do something he never wasted any time. It was the whole, 'getting him motivated' thing that was the difficult part. Kurama sighed. This was the OTHER difficult thing.

"Hiei...you have to leave the katana behind--"

"No." Hiei said flatly, putting his hand instinctively on the handle.  
  
(at auditions)  
  
Hiei and Kurama sat in the audience, watching the others go up and try out. Kurama hadn't succeeded in convincing Hiei to leave his katana behind, and was now attempting to teach him some of the subtleties of ningen life and common courtesy. Hiei, however, was proving this to be quite a challenge as he made yet another, rather inappropriate and embarrassing, remark.

"Is she a boy or a girl?" he whispered, none to quietly, squinting at the next person who had just been called. Kurama winced.

"Not so loud Hiei. I believe it's a 'he'."

"How can you tell?" Hiei had not lowered his voice a bit, Kurama noticed sourly.

"...The facial hair?" Kurama suggested, hoping like anything that wouldn't lead into another full scale argument and then explanation of basic human anatomy like the last one had. He was beginning to regret his rash decision that he would be better off with Hiei around. Interesting didn't always mean better off for HIM.

"But he's got....you know...things." Hiei said, puzzled, pointing to his chest. people around them were glaring openly now and it was making Kurama uncomfortable.

"Hiei, that's not nice. They're called...well, the nice term would be 'breast' or 'bosom'." He sighed. How had he forgotten what Hiei got like in public?

"That's not what Yusuke called them," he countered, sounding both rebellious and suspicious.

"I would strongly suggest that you not repeat anything Yusuke tells you about women, guys, or relationships between them," Kurama said quickly. This was going to be harder than he thought. He smiled and apologized softly to the people grumbling angrily at them.

"Like those words you told me not say?" Hiei asked, brows furrowed as he tried to figure this out. Kurama looked up, surprised he had remembered.

"Yes, exactly."

"Hn." A person shushed Hiei loudly and immediately. Hiei's hand grabbed at his katana hilt, and Kurama's hand grabbed onto his.

"No Hiei. We made a deal, remember? Should I allow you to bring it with you, you don't, under any circumstances, take it out or use it." Hiei let go slowly and sulked. Kurama sighed silently in relief and turned to apologize to the person, who deliberately ignored him. The two of them sat in silence for awhile until Hiei forgot he was sulking and got bored again. He shifted restlessly.

"These seats aren't very comfortable," he grumbled.

"It'll be alright Hiei. I think I'm up soon."

"Do you want to 'run lines' with me, then?" Hiei asked, suddenly remembering the request Kurama had made earlier. Beside him, Kurama gritted his teeth. Hiei looked at him, surprised by his response. Normally Kurama was happy when he actually remembered something he'd said. Did he want his help or _not_? Ridiculous, really, how quick he was to change his mind about things.

"We can't now Hiei; we're supposed to be sitting _quietly_ and watching the other people try out." Hiei stared at him in disbelief.

"Why? they're not any good. The only one who was finished before we sat down. None of these other bakas have a clue" He snorted, glancing at the person on stage who was currently stumbling over _another _line. It had to be his third in about as many seconds. Kurama smiled in spite of himself at the hot tempered, impatient little fire demon he had somehow managed to befriend.

"Your starting to pick up some ningen slang, Hiei. 'Haven't got a clue'?" Hiei looked at him for a moment, not comprehending, then a shocked expression crossed his face as realization dawned. Just then the director called out Kurama's name.  
"Suuichi Minamino." Kurama stood up and looked at Hiei, despairing of him behaving himself without Kurama there to hold him back. He turned to his short, rude friend and briefed him on proper etiquette, hoping that maybe _this_ time he'd actually listen to him.

"Excuse me Hiei. Stay here, don't kill anyone, don't repeat anything you've ever heard Yusuke say, and try not to get yourself into trouble, please." He looked at him imploringly

"Baka kitsune. I know what to do. Go up there and show all these fools how it's done." he looked away from Kurama, focusing instead on the front of the stage, indicating that the conversation was over; he was through listening. Kurama gave another inward sigh at his response, thinking wryly that sometimes he wasn't sure if he appreciated Hiei's unwavering support and belief in his abilities or not, and walked quickly up to the stage. the director gave him a bored look.

"What part are you trying out for?"

"I would like to try out for Romeo." Kurama answered politely and confidently. Everyone in the audience snickered, thinking he was a girl. The director looked confused and mildly surprised. Kurama tried again a bit louder, supposing the lack of response meant he hadn't heard.

"Romeo? I would like to try out for Romeo."

"Listen, kid, Romeo needs a --" the director started. Kurama cut him off.

"I'm not a girl."

"Oh. Oh,...well, um...I guess...did you have something prepared or did you want to do a sight reading?" the director asked, giving Kurama's hair a look. Kurama himself stuttered; he had forgotten he'd never actually run lines with Hiei.

"I... I was going to prepare something but--I'm afraid I ran out of time. I'll do a sight reading." He blushed slightly and glanced toward Hiei, who, he noticed, was glaring everyone down for laughing at him. He was also touching his katana longingly.  
"Alright," the director said, handing him a script. "Would you like me to read the other part, or do you have someone else here who can read opposite you?" Hiei stood up at this and glowered at everyone, hand on hilt of his beloved weapon, eyes narrowed and spiky hair dangerous looking, staring out like a very short, but fierce angel of vengeance.

"I'll do it."

Kurama glanced at him, a bit apprehensive."Hiei?" The director barely glanced at them and gave an impatient snort.

"Fine, hurry up and get down here, we haven't got all day."

"Yes, you do. It says 'auditions until-"

"Just come on up here, Hiei," Kurama interrupted smoothly, attempting to head off another confrontation. They seemed to be common whenever Hiei went with him to anywhere. Hiei's voice sounded in his head as he walked up.

((You're nervous, fox. You're sweating.))

((I know; I'm afraid I can't help it.))

((Why?)) the voice was calm and sardonic. Hiei was teasing him. ((You have no reason to be.))

((I am, though. That's just how these things are.))

((Are you going to be nervous when you do this play thing?)) He sounded slightly curious, and mostly condescending.  
((I don't know. I've never been in a play before.)) The director interrupted their silent conversation.

"Hee-yay? Was it?"

"Hn. Close enough, I suppose." Hiei snorted. The director was an American, and obviously not proficient at pronouncing Japanese names yet.

((I'm proud of you Hiei. That was _much_ improved over last time,)) Kurama silently told him, approvingly.

((The guy _lived_, didn't he?)) Hiei responded testily, remembering how the 'last guy' had ended up. Kurama shrugged.

((I suppose you could say that.)) The director handed Hiei a script as well and sat back, tapping his fingers impatiently on the desk.

"You read this one, opposite of Sooey-chi." he told him. Hiei and Kurama faced each other about three feet apart. Hiei started reading and did exceptionally well, considering he had never before encountered old English, at least as far as Kurama knew. He himself returned it flawlessly. in fact, he thought with a tinge of excitement, it was going really well, until--

"Cut!" the director yelled.

"What? We haven't read all of the lines yet," Hiei protested, looking peeved at the interruption. Kurama had been right, this _was_ sort of fun, once you got into it. Stupid words, but, the idea was a good one.

"What's wrong? Were we not doing something correctly?" Kurama inquired of the director, who shook his head and stood up briskly.

"No, no, calm down, boys, it was fine. Hear-ray? Why aren't you trying out for the play?"

Hiei 'hn'ed as Kurama knew he would. "I have no desire to be in your stupid play. I am only here because Kurama requested it of me." Kurama did a mental head slap. Hiei never remembered to call him 'Suuichi' around other people.

"I did say you didn't have to if you absolutely did not wish to be..." he replied, laying on the guilt, knowing Hiei would be affected though he wouldn't show it.

"Hn." So, he had been affected by the guilt trip! Kurama awarded himself a mental point.

"Heegay? Would you consider coming back later for a second try-out?" the director was approaching death. Kurama silently slipped forward a bit to put himself more directly in front of Hiei.

"You don't want me then?" he asked, slightly hurt. The director brushed this comment aside.

"No. Stupid boy, of course I want you back here again. Same time tomorrow. and bring along your little friend if you can." Kurama winced at the 'little friend' comment; however, Hiei mostly ignored it.

"Hn. Baka ningens." he muttered, just loud enough for Kurama to hear, and stalked out. Kurama sighed and sent out a mental plea.

((Be nice, Hiei...))

((I'm not nice.))

((For me?))

((....)) Kurama took the sullen silence for a 'yes'. Out loud, he nodded to the director: "Thank you very much; we'll be there," and turned and left to follow Hiei out. Exiting the door, he almost ran over said fire demon, who was hovering just outside it, looking mutinous.

"You said 'we'," he accused, glaring at the fox.

"I did," Kurama agreed, starting off in a lazy walk for the ice cream parlor.

"Why?" Hiei didn't know how much staying in the ningenkai was affecting him. Earlier, he had used some ningen slang, and now he was asking redundant questions to avoid admitting what he already knew. Kurama hid a smile.

"I believe you will enjoy it, Hiei, once you get involved with it. We already made the first cut!"

"It would've been hard not to with the competition we had," the sour little figure at his side grumbled. Kurama sighed, and hit upon an idea.

"Will you do it for ice cream?" Hiei immediately perked up at this suggestion, and failed miserably at hiding it.

"Sweet snow?" He just managed to keep from drooling. Kurama bit back a chuckle. Hiei was trying so hard to act indifferent after all; he didn't want to irritate the little demon by letting him know he found it amusing.

"Yes, Hiei. Sweet snow."  
"So, when you get the part, can we come here everyday you have that play thing?"

He looked so hopeful, Kurama couldn't bring himself to refuse him. He could ignore the question, however.

"Don't be so confident, Hiei," he chided gently. "I might not get the part. And the director wanted you back, too, don't forget." Hiei, however, was not so easily distracted.

"Hn. So does that mean sweet snow?" Kurama gave in with a graceful shrug.

"Yes, Hiei, if you want. If we do get the parts, we'll come here for sweet snow every day after practice." He barely glanced at Hiei, who was thinking this over. He already knew the demon's answer. He might be the Forbidden Child, and a fierce fighter, but he was never able to resist Rocky Road ice cream. Especially if it had chocolate syrup on top.

"...Then I suppose that's alright," he said grudgingly. Kurama grinned down at his friend.

"Wonderful. We should go tell Yusuke and Keiko and the rest about it." Hiei, however, hesitated at this.

"... Can we wait? I don't want that baka to know unless he has to."

"Who, Yusuke?"

"Kuwabara."

"Ah," Kurama murmured. "Well, in that case, we'll go start on our ice cream tradition and then go home. I still have homework to do. I'm glad school's almost out."  
  
(Next day at auditions)

The director was impatient. He had told his co-workers they had to be here today to witness these two boys. He had no doubt in his mind that they would be in the play; it would practically be a sin _not_ to let in someone of their caliber, in fact. But it wasn't so easy to decide what part. The red head boy wanted to be Romeo, had read the lines for Romeo flawlessly, had the necessary attitude the director wanted for Romeo...but that hair...and the short one would have been perfect except he wanted nothing to do with any of it except the red head. There might be something going on between the two, come to think of it.....but they'd had to suffer through all the other applicants anyway. None of them had been worth the time or attention. Now it was time for those two boys, finally. He called them up, and was delighted to see both had showed. He'd actually been fairly doubtful of the shorter one's appearance.

"Well, well, well, Soey-chi. I see you managed to bring your little friend back again," he said briskly, eyeing both of them for their responses. If they was something going on between them, it was best he knew about it NOW. The shorter one seemed to have gone a little pink, and the read head placed a gentle but firm and wonderfully manicured hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, I did. He's very glad to be here." Kurama replied, holding Hiei back with a restraining hand on his shoulder. Hiei had flushed slightly in anger at the 'little friend' comment and growled quietly. It wasn't that Kurama was afraid Hiei might actually _do_ something, but if he got a part in the play he would need to start getting him to behave now. It was guaranteed to take a while. Especially since the director's next comments didn't help his temper any.

"Well, it's obvious who's the older. Well, what I would like you boys to do is read lines for me again. But put in anything extra you want. Make it as memorable as possible."

"Same lines as before?" Kurama asked, reflecting that director's last sentence hadn't entirely been the most fortuitous.

"Yes. Unless you have something planned." Kurama shook his head; Hiei hadn't been willing to role play once they'd gotten home, instead falling asleep immediately on his side of the bed, and stealing all of Kurama's covers for himself. "Well then, take it away, boys! You have the whole stage. And it's just me and the other directors, so don't be nervous."

((You heard him,)) Hiei remarked, raising an eyebrow at Kurama.

((But I'm a little worried. This is from the big balcony scene.))

Hiei snorted ((The 'big balcony scene'? As opposed to what? The little balcony scene? Do you think you can handle this fox?))

((I'm not nervous about my capabilities, just the part,)) Kurama clarified.

((What do you mean?)) Hiei asked, vaguely curios.

((WELL, it's a guy/girl scene part--)) Kurama started to explain but was interrupted by the director's voice booming over from the back where he sat with the other judges.

"What's the matter, boys? Don't just stare at each other! Do what you did yesterday! Only better."

Hiei and Kurama read their lines, acting them out as they went. They hardly had to look at their papers--Kurama had made them go over it multiple times out of nerves the night before until Hiei had threatened to run him through with his katana. The directors watched, stunned by what they saw. The two of them had managed to transport their viewers to another place and time, with out props, or anything other than their voices. And compared to the other amateurs that had tried out, no matter how good they had been....it was extraordinary. They had the two switch roles and move onto a new section for a cold reading and switch roles again. Kurama loved every minute of it, and whether or not he would admit it, Hiei had a sense of the dramatic, and so, truth be told, did the fox. By the end of it, even Hiei was having fun with it, although Kurama knew better than to try and get him to acknowledge it. When they finally finished however, he did allow himself a vague sense of disappointment as the directors huddled together to confer in whispers. Kurama decided to risk the 'fun' issue.

"There! wasn't that fun? You know you were enjoying yourself by the end of it."

Hiei grunted. "The ningens are idiots. That girl--Julie? She's never met the guy and assumes she loves him? Why doesn't she just sleep with him and get it over with since that's obviously what she wants?"

Kurama winced. "You definitely know how to degrade a piece of classic literature, Hiei," he said dryly.

"By speaking the truth?"

"Hiei, at the time the story was written, love at first sight was a very popular theme, and so were tragic endings. Shakespeare wrote what he knew everyone wanted to see."

"So he played to the crowd. Typical," Hiei sniffed. "It wasn't that tragic, either; they were both idiots. They deserved to die."

Kurama sighed. "It doesn't work that way, Hiei."

"OK, boys. That's good, thank you; we'll be posting the results on the board over there tonight. You may go. Tell the next person to come in on your way out," a director--not the one they had seen before--told them. Hiei and Kurama left by way of the sweet snow shop. Kurama remarked that if they kept this up both of them would soon become fat and lazy. He actually thought this highly unlikely as he looked at Hiei's muscles, easily definable despite his normal black attire, but he thought the comment might slow down Hiei's attack on his ice cream cone. It didn't. Hiei barely spared him a glance, and then continued to slurp away. Passersby stared and watched with interest as the feminine red-head strolled along, holding his cone of pink peppermint chip with a divine air, accompanied by a small spiky black haired boy frantically licking his chocalota mint chip. Kurama supposed it was an amusing sight. He glanced down at Hiei again, wondering how many more ice cream cones it would take to put even an ounce of fat on his demon body. Suddenly, Kurama frowned. He looked Hiei up and down. Hiei paused while eating his ice cream.

"What?" Kurama was giving that 'look'. In Hiei's experience, whenever Kurama got that 'look', the outcome was never in his favor. He still remembered the disastrous hair cutting episode from a few months ago.

"We have to find you some ningen clothes, Hiei. Those just won't do. I'll ask Yusuke if he might have any old ones that'll work."

"Hey shrimp! Where're you and pretty boy goin'?" The loud, obnoxious voice saved Hiei from answering Kurama's statement about his clothes.

"Speak of the devil." Kurama turned and saw Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Keiko walking towards them.

((Kurama, I will _kill_ you,)) Hiei thought viciously.

"Hiei is accompanying me to see the results of my audition," Kurama replied. ((I left you out of it.)) he pointed out silently to Hiei.

"Auditions? Yusuke and Kuwabara are taking me to somewhere for a surprise. Is that it? Did you guys audition, too?" Keiko asked, looking at each of them in surprise.

"AWW, Kurama, you ruined the surprise," Yusuke whined, glancing over at Keiko.

"What'd I do?" Kurama asked. These two were so cute, always pretending there was nothing between them.

"Never mind. SO, Kurama, what part did you try out for?"

"Well, I said I wanted to try out for Romeo, but they had us read a bunch of other stuff as well."

"Us?" Keiko asked. _She would notice_, Hiei thought dryly.

"Hiei read opposite me," Kurama explained.

"But you said YOUR audition," Kuwabara said accusingly.

"Hiei was helping me out."

"Hey," Keiko interrupted. "Isn't that Botan and Koenma?"

"What? Diaper boy?" Yusuke demanded, turning to look everywhere.

"Yusuke! (slap) Be nice! And you said you would stop calling him that!" She glared at Yusuke, who rubbed his cheek and grumbled.

"Where? Where is he? I don't see him!" Kuwabara was craning around to see as well. Kurama and Hiei merely stood, Kurama calm and complacent, Hiei with his arms crossed.

"Over there, buttface. He's in his teenager form," Hiei snapped, barely inclining his head in the right direction and looking irritated.

"Why you! I oughtta--" Kuwabara growled.

"Hn. Don't bother. You know you're hardly worth my effort," Hiei cut in smoothly, yawning.

"Hiei! Kurama! Yusuke! Keiko! Kuwabara! What a surprise!" Botan had spotted them.

"Hello," Koenma replied, rather less enthusiastically.

"Pacifier Breath, are you here cause of the try-outs, too?" Yusuke asked, surprised.

"I've told you before, Yusuke," Koenma began, but Yusuke cut him off, ignoring it as always.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Short skirt over here already slapped me once for it." (slap)

"And there's another one!" Keiko shouted.

"Well, I'm glad one of you has proper respect. I really don't know why Keiko puts up with you. I wouldn't," Koenma remarked, barely glancing at Yusuke, who was flat on the ground. It had been a hard slap.

"Same reason Botan puts up with you, your Royal Babyness." Yusuke growled in reply and stood up.

"SO, did everyone except Hiei and Keiko try out for this play?" Kurama finally asked.

"Yes," everyone except Hiei and Keiko answered.

"Ah. well," Kurama said, slightly taken aback. He hadn't expected this. Everyone paused, not sure what to do now. Oddly enough, it was Hiei who broke the silence.

"There's the list," he said, pointing. Obviously, they weren't going to get around to noticing themselves, so he'd have to do it for them. Baka ningens. Except Kurama.

There was a pause while everyone looked to where Hiei was pointing, then they all rushed over.

"Move over, you oaf! I can't see!" Hiei snapped to Kuwabara as he pushed to the front and stood on tip toe.

"Oh, I'm sorry, squirt. Need me to pick you up so you can see?" he snickered.

"Hey! You watch it or--" Hiei snapped.

"Yeah, or you'll what?" Kuwabara taunted.

"Give it up moron. Have you learned nothing from last time?" Yusuke snapped, pushing between them. There was a slight pause, then--

"Who exactly was that aimed at?" Hiei asked finally. Yusuke just shrugged carelessly as he scanned the list.

"Both?"

"I'm in I'm in!" Botan squealed, jumping up and down excitedly. Everyone looked at

her, startled.

"What?"  
  
ok. End of ch. one! cheers wow...that took a long time to type. My head is spinning... . Um, well, u guys better have appreciated that, b/c I have a history final 2morrow that I put off studying for so I could type this up. Um, Read and review plz!!! Points to button goes off to 'study' history, aka: take a nap


	2. Where's the Tragedy?

  
  
Hi everybody! Sky Fire Dragon back again! Um, NORMALLY, there's no telling how soon updates will be, but I've got almost a whole day of blissful nothingness ahead of me(at least until parents get up and put me to work) and I'm also going on a trip soon and will b gone for like, 3 wks...and I know I'll be lazy when I get back, so....this is for those of you who DO actually want to continue reading. And let me go on record to say that it annoys me whenever author notes and replies to the reviews goes on longer than the actual fic, but I'm doing it anyway. sighs Go figure... so, for those of you who don't care what I have to say to everyone, skip ahead to the story like you were going to anyway. the rest of you sit down and be comfortable because I have a lot to say....(as usual...)  
  
Yami-AJ Yu-Yu-IncuCaptor Lol. No, Botan gets to be someone much better (for her).  
  
Baka Bahamut Scuzi? Whose story is this? I can do whatever I want in it. Hard concept? No. In my defense(even though I really don't care what you think on this matter) this story was not originally written to go on ffnet. I wrote it for my friend to make her laugh during class, so it's not of the highest caliber in the beginning. It gets better. And FYI, Kuwabara isn't going to be a main character in this one, he's here b/c I need him there later on for some character conflicts I have in mind. It's not that I dislike Kuwabara, I admire him, honestly. But it's so much fun to make fun of him. I also have difficulty writing about him in a positive sense because he's just a difficult character for me to write about. I'm sorry if you were offended, but I really don't care. This is MY story, and it's really going to be trivial later on. Your awfully protective of a character who isn't even REAL. So, sorry to have offended you, but I'm not going to change my plans for later chapters because of a 4 sentence review. Sorry.   
  
Oscar that's what I thought too! : D  
  
Luna Stargazer Love your name. Yeah, I agree it's hard to find original material on this site. I will say Anica106 and I are both trying to remedy that, at least somewhat. She's succeeding better than I am. But there's a reason this is Humor; I'm not trying to be completely original in this one, it's purely for entertainment, with hopefully some original character development. And the reason for choosing Romeo and Juliet instead of something like Hamlet is b/c I don't like Shakespeare (sorry, but true) and no one has made me read Hamlet yet, so how can I do a fic based on it? And I have seen other Romeo and Juliet ones out there, but I didn't find any I really considered good. If you can remember the title of the one you read, I'd love to read it. So, read if you like, if not....well, I still like your name! : D  
  
The wind spirit YAY! I do too, actually, provided it's well done. But, I'm sorry to say, this isn't. dodges flying object It will have lots of H/K moments b/c I love those charac's. Nothing romantic though, they're just friends. And guess what? You guessed right! Only...not directly. Just read and see.

((Anica106 here...again, it was my job to proofread, so don't yell at her if I missed something. Also again, SFD doesn't own YYH. ))  
  
Chapter 2 Where' s the Tragedy?  
  
"I'm in! I'm in!" Botan squealed, jumping up and down excitedly. Everyone looked at her, startled.

"What?"

"The play, sillies!" Botan smiled waayy too cheerily at them all. "Look! See? There's my name!"

They all looked, and, indeed, there was Botan's name, right next to "Juliet's Nurse."

"And there's Hiei's!" she yelled excitedly. Yusuke winced and clapped his hands over his ears.  
"Jeez, Botan. You didn't have to screech," he grumbled sourly.

"Hiei? That shrimp? But he didn't try out! Did he?" Kuwabara protested, looking around at the others and catching Kurama's eye. Hiei stood beside him, arms folded, looking bored and angry. Kurama glanced at Kuwabara and then to the list tacked up onto the door and shrugged delicately.

"No, he didn't; however, it would appear that the director doesn't care," he said dryly.

"Which one is Romeo?" Hiei asked, eyes locked on the offending paper that dared to associate him with anything human. Everyone did an anime fall.

"Only _the_ most important male role," Koenma snapped jealously. "Where's _my _name? I'm the ruler of the underworld! Why wasn't I chosen for Romeo? I'm infinitely handsomer than he is. And taller too," he added, ignoring Hiei's death look. If he didn't see it, it couldn't hurt him.

"Maybe because you always have a pacifier in your mouth?" Yusuke suggested, snickering.

"There you are," Kurama murmured, "right beneath Botan's. You are Juliet's father. And the judge/prince."

"Oh, well, at least I got two parts," Koenma said, slightly mollified, looking over at Hiei, who was looking at Kurama.

"Where's _your_ name?" he asked, suspiciously.

"I don't...wait. There it is. I'm your understudy. I fill in for you if you need it," Kurama said, trying not to sound disappointed, looking away firmly so he wouldn't have to see Hiei's eyes on him, characteristically devoid of any outward show of emotion.

"Hey!" Yusuke yelled suddenly, breaking everyone's train of thought. "Baby breath! I got three parts!" He swelled with pride, glancing over at Keiko to see if she had noticed. "I'm--" he frowned, stumbling over the name. "Tyb-Tybalt, and a servant, and this other guy."

"Yes, well, both of mine are more important than all three of yours put together, Yusuke," Koenma glared.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Oh, both of you cut it out!" Botan snapped, hitting them over the head with her oar.

Keiko rolled her eyes at the boys' immaturity and shivered."If we're done staring at a piece of paper and arguing, maybe we can go somewhere where it's warmer."

"Yeah," Yusuke said, "I'm freezing my-" (slap)  
"Yusuke!"

"Jeez, Keiko, you don't even know what I was going to say!"

"I don't _want_ to know what you were going to say! Keep that foul mouth of yours closed."

"What if I wanted to do something crazy like yell at Kuwabara or kiss you or eat ice cream?"

"No. You're not allowed to open your mouth--wha--?" She stopped and stared at Yusuke for a second as all of what he had said clicked in her mind. She hadn't even really been paying attention, sure she didn't want to hear any of his excuses. She blushed and whacked Yusuke hard enough for him to fall face first into the snow. The others stared.

"Impressive," Koenma murmured. He supported their "relationship" completely, as Keiko seemed the only one able to keep Yusuke in line. She even got him to attend school and turn in his homework occasionally, which no one else had managed yet.

"Bad form," Hiei and Kurama muttered together.

"Oh, Urameshi got told!" Kuawabara gloated. Yusuke's reply was thankfully muffled by the snow he was still buried in.

"I agree with Keiko. It's time to get someplace warm," Botan declared after a few seconds of silence. She walked off, leading the way as the others followed.

"Oowww," Yusuke said pitifully. No one paid any attention.  
  
(At Kurama's house)  
  
"I'm going to raid the refrigerator," Yusuke announced upon entering. "That alright with you, Kurama?" He actually waited for a reply this time, as the last time he'd eaten everything in it, including Kurama's mother's Birthday cake. Kurama had NOT been pleased to find this out.  
"Me too!" Kuwabara yelled, and the two of them rushed off to the kitchen as soon as Kurama had nodded.

"Sure..." he said, watching them with a slightly lost look on his face.

"Well, It's been fun, Kurama, but we've got to run. Got an underworld to rule and souls to transport. You know how it is," Koanma told him as Botan nodded behind him.

"Fine," Kurama replied softly. Botan and Koenma left. Keiko decided to go investigate the kitchen as noises followed by a loud series of crashes escaped through the doors. This left Kurama alone with Hiei in his room. He slowly walked around once or twice, as though familiarizing himself with what everything looked like. He sat down at his desk, got up and looked through some music, put it down again, and threw himself gently on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Hiei watched all this silently from his place of residence on Kurama's windowsill. Kurama had jokingly told him once that he spent so much time there he was going to charge him rent. But now it seemed the playful kitsune wasn't in any kind of mood to play, still staring up at the ceiling above his bed. When he abruptly got up and started pacing again, Hiei decided it might be time to speak.

"Kurama?"

"Hmm?"

"...." Hiei decided the best approach was to just ask. No sense in playing guessing games with the fox all night. "What's wrong with you?"

That had come out harsher than he'd intended, but really, Kurama shouldn't be letting himself get all wrapped up over something like this. It could be dangerous, losing one's awareness for something so dangerous as a journey through one's own head. Hiei knew from personal experience. What was more worrisome was the Kurama hardly seemed to have noticed his tone at all, or even really heard his words.

"Nothing."

"Hn. What are you thinking?"

"Nothing." This was irritating.

"Liar," he spat, glaring at Kurama now.

"...Am not...." he replied unconvincingly. It seemed Hiei would have to guess after all. How annoying.

"It's about that stupid play thing." It was a statement, not a question. Kurama recognized this. He had an uneasy feeling Hiei had guessed exactly what was wrong and it embarrassed him.

"Are you angry because I got the part of Romeo and you wanted it?"

Kurama sat up, startled. How.... "No. Not at you. I think it's perfect for you." He did, too. Hiei would make a wonderful Romeo...either that or he would decapitate Juliet and run off with the friar to go raid monasteries the world over. There were actually quite a lot of valuable things in monasteries, although not as many now though as there had been at one point. Youko had relieved many of them of their treasures.

"Then your reason for acting like this...?" Hiei would not be dissuaded.

"I don't know, Hiei..."

Hiei glared harder. Kurama sighed. He wasn't going to leave him alone until he was satisfied with his answer. "I just thought I would get the part, that's all. You don't even want it. I dragged you there, and then you got it. I'm just...lost, I suppose." He blushed, not wanting to say his reason why outright. But judging from the way Hiei's eyes widened a fraction, he had guessed. Kurama burned with shame.

"...You lost...to me...that's it, isn't it?" Hiei asked finally, revelation dawning. "As Youko, you never failed to get what you wanted; no one dared deny you...and as Suuichi, you're perfect. Good little Suuichi who is ALWAYS top of his class and wins at anything. And now, you did. You wanted something and you didn't get it. I did." He stared at Kurama for a long moment, amazed. "Kurama, are you acting like this because you've never 'lost' before?"

Kurama glared. _"NO." _Hiei waited, eyes still wide, mouth turning up in the barest form of a grin. He found this amusing.

"...Maybe," Kurama conceded, voice quiet. A strange noise caused him to look up quickly. Hiei was chuckling. Laughing, almost. It was Kurama's turn to stare in amazement.

"Baka fox." Hiei was suddenly serious. "You can't let yourself get like this merely because someone got chosen instead of you. You were better at the audition. _You _know that. You would've been chosen had you not looked so much like a girl." Hiei smirked and Kurama glared. "What would happen if you went back to the Makai now, and someone out there proved themselves to be better than you? Someone out foxed the fox himself? Took Youko Kurama's place as the best thief?"

Kurama winced at this illustration. Hiei always chose the most painful ways of bringing his point across. "I would..." He stopped. Honestly? Youko wouldn't be able to stand the shame. He was a prideful creature, unable to stand the idea that he might not be the best. Hiei had been exactly right about that. And Kurama himself? What would he do? "I would...live out the remainder of my life in anonymity. Youko had his time to shine; the wisest thing to do in that instance would be to step aside and let the other have his time. Everyone should be allowed that opportunity. I was offered mine when I bested the thief who was the greatest before me. Everyone has their time to shine. What they chose to do with that time is up to them." He looked at Hiei seriously. "Youko would die in defeat, alone and miserable, hating himself. But I would step back and let the next one come in and make his mark on the world."

Hiei sat there, stunned. He hadn't thought of things in quite that manner before. Kurama always brought forth a new light to anything and everything. And Hiei kept him from going to far. He shook himself. The fox was right of course; he always was. But he also had a bad habit of letting himself become overwhelmed with his own thinking.

"You're feeling sorry for yourself," he said coolly, scowling at his friend. Kurama looked at him, startled out of whatever dark thoughts he'd previously been living in."You're giving into your weak ningen emotions. The Kurama I knew wouldn't be upset. He probably wouldn't even care." Hiei watched him closely as he turned those words over in his mind. Hiei didn't believe them for an instant, but, if _Kurama_ did...

Kurama himself sat hunched on the bed, knees drawn up to chin. _He looks like a small child., _Hiei thought, surpised._ The great Youko Kurama...feeling sorry for himself because he didn't get the part he wanted in some stupid ningen play... _Hiei almost started laughing at the thought, but stopped, realizing Kurama had yet to move from his spot. He didn't know it, but Kurama was thinking almost exactly the same thing.

__

This is stupid. The "Great Youko Kurama," feeling jealous of his best friend because he got to play Romeo and he didn't. Hei would probably be rolling on the floor laughing at me right now if he knew what I was thinking... And why does this bother me? I WANTED Hiei to be in the play. And yet, now he was regretting it. Even as he had told Hiei not to be over confident, he had secretly been thinking he was right, there was no real competition--_Apart from the person reading across from me._ And as much as he didn't want to admit it, he was completely taken by surprise. Hiei had shown _him_ up, when it was he who had shown Hiei everything he knew, who was older, and who knew Shakespeare's work. Hiei had never heard of the man. He had merely shown up, and stolen what the great Youko Kurama had set his sights on. This had never happened before. And as much as he hated it, Hiei had been completely right about him. He hated how it had thrown his whole thinking off. Was he so arrogant that he wouldn't live with Hiei being Romeo and him not?

He laughed suddenly, catching Hiei off guard. He'd been about to leave Kurama to his ponderings when the fox hadn't moved in almost 20 minutes. He narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. Kurama merely smiled at him. _No,_ he thought. He was being silly. Hiei would do great, and life would go on. Everything would be fine.

"You'rer right, Hiei, I _was_ feeling sorry for myself. I'm glad you're Romeo."

"Hn. Well, personally, I wish you'd been chosen. I never wanted anything to do with the play."Kurama hid a smile.

"What do they require, anyway? I only read those two parts with you."  
  
"Well, they'll send you a full script later on--tomorrow or the day after--so you can learn your lines."

"I can't read it?"

"No, Hiei. The idea is to make people believe that it is really happening. You can't accomplish that if your reading from the script."

Hiei scowled. "At least Botan and Koenma will be Juliet's parents. Botan's not going to be all 'cuddly' and 'lovey-dovey' with me."

Kurama wanted to laugh, but suspected Hiei would have no problem with decapitating him if he did so just now. He was also beginning to suspect that Hiei had missed something fundamental in the central idea of the play. He wondered how to approach this topic.

"Um, Hiei, you do know this is a romantic tragedy?" Hiei looked up from where he was going through Kurama's desk, having become bored with the conversation.

"So?" He held up a can opener. "What's this doing in here?"

"Oh, I was looking for that," Kurama said distractedly. "But, Hiei, Romeo and Juliet are the main characters in a love story."

"Is it a happy story?" Hiei sneered.

"No, nothing like those stories Keiko and Botan like to read," Kurama answered, knowing what Hiei was thinking. Hiei shrugged and continued to rummage through the desk, pulling out random papers and reading a few. Kurama decided to try again.

"Romeo and Juliet are considered to be some of the greatest lovers in all of time," he said hopefully.

"Don't be stupid, kitsune. They're not real. What is _this_?" He held up a little mermaid watch and a love poem. Kurama blushed.

"I had planned on giving that to a girl I had a crush on in third grade. I chickened out."

"Hn." Hiei looked amused.

"Hiei, I don't think you understand," Kurama sighed helplessly.

"Don't understand what?" He looked at Kurama, puzzled.

"Hiei, you're going to have to do a couple of 'love scenes' with whoever plays Juliet."

Long pause. then,

"WHAT?!"  
  
Downstairs, Kuwabara and Yusuke stopped in the middle of beating each other up, Keiko froze in the middle of pushing between them, and they all slowly brought their eyes up to the ceiling, from which voices were eminating.  
  
"I HAVE TO DO WHAT?"

"Look, they wouldn't call it a romantic tragedy if there was _no romance!_"

"So where's all the tragedy?!"

"There is a _lot_ of tragedy! They _die_!!"

"Why don't they die sooner??"

"Because then there would be _no romance_! It would just be tragedy!"

"SO?!"

"Well, that's not what Shakespeare wrote!"

"Baka ningen!"

"Glad to see we've expanded your vocabulary so widely!"

"Shut up, fox! You're--"

"HIEI!"

"WHAT?!"

"...Stop yelling at me," Kurama said quietly. A silence fell over the whole house.

"Well. Food time," Yusuke announced uneasily. Everyone looked at him. Keiko slapped him. Yusuke just looked at her and swallowed a large mouthful of food. Keiko rolled her eyes.  
  
Hiei looked at Kurama and sat down on the window sill. Kurama took a deep breath and sat down on his bed. They were quiet for a while before Kurama ventured to speak.

"I'm sure it won't be too bad, Hiei. If they are going to let kids come to the play, they won't be allowed to put in anything to riske."

"Hn." This 'hn' was to try and convince Kurama that he didn't care anymore, and to cover up any interest he might have in what Kurama had to say. He knew this and continued, watching the little koorime for signs of danger.

"I highly doubt it will be more than a kiss, maybe a few kisses. Romeo and Juliet don't really get any time alone anyway because theirs is a secret and forbidden love, and girls especially weren't left unchaperoned very often, if ever. It was mean to protect their 'innocence.' "

"Hn." This "hn" simply said he didn't wish to discuss it any more until he'd thought about it, and Kurama decided to respect this.

"But that's enough of that. We should probably go down and visit our friends. My mother will be home soon and it's almost dinner time and then they'll have to leave." A crash came from downstairs, followed by Yusuke yelling at Kuwabara. "My mother's china!" Kurama gasped, and dashed out of the room in search of Kuwabara and to see what they had managed to break this time. The glass shop got rich any time his friends came over to visit. If his mother only knew how many things got broken and replaced while she was away....he shook his head and vanished from view.

This left Hiei alone in Kurama's room. He looked around and slowly walked over to the full length mirror Kurama had installed in his closet so he would always be able to make sure he looked his best before leaving for school each day. Hiei had almost never looked at his reflection, never felt like he needed to. No one cared what the Forbidden Child looked like. Why would they? For that matter, why would he? And he had always been careful not to let any one get close to him, at least until Kurama came along, and the others, too, he supposed. And he doubted even they really cared what he looked like. _Excpet maybe Kurama,_ he thought, scowling as he remembered Kurama saying something about Yusuke giving him old clothes to wear while he was here. Kurama's were always way too big and heavy on the pink.

He stood in front of the mirror for sometime, staring at his reflection. Scanning his eyes up and down, Hiei studied himself, trying to be as honest in his assessment as possible. He ran his rough hand over his muscular arms, his chest, then through his hair. Turning sideways, he continued to examine himself. Smirking, he ruffled his hair to give himself a dangerous, just-won-a-fight look. He faced forward again suddenly a struck a "bad boy" pose, eyes widening slightly.  
_Wow..._Hiei thought. He touched his arm again. _I look good._ _I wonder how much more impressive I look in battle, with my cloak and my sword.... _He considered grabbing said items and seeing for himself, but decided against it. Having fun now, Hiei got a little carried away with his posing, performing extremely fast, complex movements, flips, and turns, ending crouched in front of the mirror, eyes glinting dangerously.

"Hello, Juliet," Hiei told his reflection. " 'Tis I, your beloved Romeo." He smirked. "Come with me, and I will show you things you have never dreamed of." He switched over to an actually fairly convincing girl's voice, only slightly exaggerated.

"Oh, Romeo! Romeo! I have waited for you for so long! Oh, please, darling Romeo; take me away from all of this!" Hiei grinned a patented bad boy grin. He felt great; he wished, almost, that Juliet really was here so he could do more than just talk. He looked around and grabbed Kurama's pillow, still smiling in a sexy, dangerous way at it.

"If you insist, my _dearest_ Juliet. If I must." He held the pillow to himself, really beginning to get in the mood now. The pillow might as well _be_ Juliet for all he cared. He leaned down and kissed it, slowly and sensuously. Just because he _didn't_ have real relationships didn't mean he _couldn't_ when he felt like it, he thought rebelliously. He could _do _it; he was even really _good_ at it. He just chose not exercise that particular area of expertise. He straightened up again and smirked once more at Kurama's pillow.

"Oh! Romeo! But h-how?"

"I'm just naturally good at some things." Hiei leered at the pillow. He shook it gently to show its/her giddy embarrasment.

"Romeo! Thou shouldst not speak of such things so openly! 'Tis scandalous!" a sweet and charged female voice said, half teasing, half shocked. Hiei looked down at his pillow.

"And why mustn't I? Are you saying you didn't like it?" he asked, suddenly sounding very intense and husky. He stared at the pillow hungrily.

"...Like what?, specifically?" the warm fluting female voice quavered.

"The kiss, Juliet. Merely the kiss," Hiei replied, his voice and body language definitely suggesting something else.

"Oh! Oh, my, I--I loved the--the kiss..." the voice got much softer and turned shy on the last two words. It just made Hei more determined.

"What else would you love, Juliet?" he asked, eyes burning holes into the pillow. He hardly gave it a chance to answer.

"Oh! I--I, I fear I --Hiei! Hiei, you stop that right now! I have to sleep with that, you know!" The lovely, soft girls voice suddenly shifted back to Kurama's rather annoyed one. Hiei jumped and threw the pillow at Kurama, simultaneously reaching for his katana and searching for any sign of danger. Kurama, meanwhile, had caught the pillow easily and dropped it on the bed. He raised an eyebrow at Hiei.

"A little late for that, don't you think?" he asked, smiling widely, letting his obvious amusement at Hiei being caught off guard and flustered show through. Hiei glared, leaning against the mirror, trying to pull himself back together and stop his knees from shaking. Kurama sat down on the bed and lounged there, grinning wickedly at him. "I told you that you would have fun with this, Hiei. Although I'd rather it wasn't with my pillow."  
  
Kurama had come back from the kitchen, where it turned out Kuwabara and Yusuke had NOT managed to break any more dishes, only the antique lamp from his grandmother. He had paused at the doorway, wondering what kind of mood Hiei would have put himself in by now over the idea of being "romantic" with "Juliet." He'd heard a soft thud and glanced in, plants on hand should they be necessary, and had been quite surprised to see Hiei posing in front of the mirror. He'd watched for a while, amused to see Hiei actually "playing," for lack of a better term. When he'd grabbed Kurama's pillow and started talking to it, Kurama had begun to suspect he might have stayed up a little too late the night before watching Gone With the Wind with him. Only Hiei would manage to turn Romeo into a sexy, miniature Rhett Butler, with punk overlays. It was quite amusing. The others might think Hiei had no sense of humor, but Kurama knew he did. He just didn't like other people to know, including Kurama. He'd had to control himself lest he burst out laughing, and hadn't been able to resist joining in the game, playing the voice of the female pillow--until Hiei had started to get serious. Now, he was afraid he would rupture an organ with all the silent laughter he was suppressing that was shaking inside of him. He wasn't going to forget that moment for a LONG time...and he knew he wasn't going to let Hiei forget, either. At least until he got some new blackmail on Kurama.   
  
Wow...another chapter done. Alright, This is Humor, I promise, but I had to put that big huge serious part in to try and clarify Hiei and Kurama's relationship in this. They are not together, and will not be. They're just friends. although I suppose if you want to take it that way you can. The charac's are not going to be strictly like they were in the show, but I am going to try and keep them as close to it as possible. I will be adding a few of my own character's in this later on, but I promise they're not important. And no one will be getting together with any outside character's; they'll only be there for amusement. There will be suggestive things being said later on once Youko decides to make his presence known( we all know what he's like). But there will not be any lemon or lime....that I know of....pretty much, the most sexual thing that will happen to anyone or anything in this story is what happened to poor Kurama's pillow.....lol. Hiei's never going to live that down....ah, well. Like I said, updates will happen whenever; hope you guys enjoy. Flame me if you want, but it will result in long(er) author notes while I reply to it. And for BakaBahamut: I was nicer to Kuwabara in this one, so I don't want to hear another word about it. I already told you at length about him above. SkyFireDragon signing off! : D


	3. Meeting Brittany

  
  
Well, another chapter up and ready to read, no thx to aol, who kicked me off and made me lose everything I had typed up 1 page from the end. Stupid storm. An hour and a 1/2 of my time wasted. Well, anyway. For those of you who have been anxiously awaiting the next chapter. And the next 2 chapters should be fairly soon updates because now that I am back from my trip to Scotland, I once again have access to my muses (Anica106 and Jocasta the Unseen-unseen because she's never around when we need her. Lazy bum. I bet she's sleeping while we're hard at work writing. ) !!!

Review Responses:

angelbird12241 Thank you. I did. see? enjoy. I had to type it twice.  
  
Miliko01....thx...I think. Since I don't know if that was meant as a compliment or otherwise...I'll take it as a compliment. Hope you review more definitively in future. O.O  
  
Hinote Kitsune Nikore YEA!! I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT! THAT MAKES ME HAPPY! glomps I know what you mean...my family probably thought about committing me years ago and then decided it would be too torturous on the other loonies. lol. Hope you enjoy this chapter just as much. Review again, plz! makes kitty face  
  
Oscar Hiei would make a cute Tybalt, but the way I have it planned out (and yes, I DO actually have something resembling a plot for this story-barely), it works better. Besides, can't you see it? This is probably the only time where Juliet is gonna be a foot taller than Romeo. And Hiei would look so cute in that cloak, don't you think? ==  
  
Anica106 thank you so much for going through all my stuff and proof reading it all...there's no telling what kind of impression I would leave on all those English/grammar/punctuation nuts out there w/o ur help. I would review urs normally if my comp. wasn't so evil, but it is. So you're stuck w/ normal e-mail reviews. Scotland was awesome, I'm going to talk ur ears off a/b it when I see u a/g and don't have to type everything, b/c it hurts. Esp. a/f typing up this monster of a ch. (2x) XX Anyways, thx so much. hope u enjoy. Update urs soon.

((Anica106 here. You know the drill: Me proofread, you no flame. She doesn't own it.))

Chapter 3: Meeting Brittany

(At Play Practice)  
  
The director sighed helplessly. All he'd wanted was to produce an outstanding version of one of Shakespeare's plays. Any of them. He wanted to bring old literature to life and enchant an entire generation who thought real life was all video games and eating lots of ice cream, to show everyone that there _was_ something better out there, that beyond all the commercialism and materialism of the modern day, there could be real passion, real meaning, people enduring unspeakable hardships and living on to see better days. That was his dream. And when he'd been offered the chance....if he could make this play work...if he could bring the theatre back to life...he sighed. It wasn't big, his dream. Many others before him had had it. Looking sourly at the script in his hands, he reflected that probably, if Shakespeare himself had had to deal with the cast he had...he very much doubted he would ever have picked up a quill.

The girl chosen to play Juliet was, quite honestly, horrible. There was just no way around it. Tall and blond and well proportioned, she was every bit the beauty Juliet must've been in order to capture poor Romeo's heart like she had. Unfortunately, Brittany also possessed a tin-whistle type laugh and a loud voice that carried out into the area backstage and into the halls out front. This would normally have been considered a plus, except that the director didn't find her voice all that pleasant to listen to. He would've gladly chosen another girl over this one, only there had been no other girl to choose. They had all been horrible. The only things Brittany had had going for her, were her distance-covering voice, because they could not afford any sort of microphone system, and the fact that her acting had been marginally better than the others'. But not by much, and it still wasn't saying anything worthwhile.   
It shouldn't have been hard, the director mused, to find a tall, beautiful, graceful, and, above all, _talented_ girl to play Juliet. However, they had somehow managed to end up with someone who nicely fulfilled all the requirements except the main one! She couldn't read or act worth a flip. The general consensus between him and the other directors was that hopefully she'd be able to pick it up as they went along. After all, hadn't they chosen a Tibetan monk to play the friar? One who barely spoke normal English, much less Shakespearean? Although, to his credit, he was doing much better on that. Reading lines wasn't his problem; English sentences were simply not structured in the same way of the ones in his native language, what ever that was.

No, he was not a problem...not much of one anyway. Brittany was the problem. She seemed to be having difficulties with her counterpart, Romeo. Specifically, she had lost all control of her salivary faculties at the sight of him and started drooling and crooning on the spot. And what's-his-name, Hiei?-wasn't helping any: namely, by refusing to come anywhere near her. The director groaned softly and rubbed his temples as he heard Romeo's understudy pleading with him once again. The red head would have been ideal for Romeo, _ideal_...apart from the fact that he looked like a girl. No amount of makeup was going to change that, he was sure. And unless he was willing to put on a drag version of Romeo and Juliet, there was just no way he would let him have that role. But what else was he supposed to do with the boy? He was too brilliant by far to simply throw out. It had seemed the only solution was to put him in as Romeo's understudy until he decided what on earth to do with him. Hopeless. The whole thing was hopeless.

"Hiei, please. You have to stay within ten feet of her. It's vital to the entire mood of the scene!" Kurama pleaded.

"Hn." Hiei was currently up in the rafters back stage with the lights, where he'd retreated when Brittany had tried to hug him. He had no intention of coming down anytime soon if she was still here.

"Hiei..." Kurama sighed, not wanting to admit defeat just yet, but knowing all the same that he had lost for the day. "Look, she's really nice looking. It could be worse, and holding hands isn't that bad. Much better than my pillow you were squeezing and kissing last night." This earned him only a death look and a further scooting up towards the ceiling. Any further and the Jaganshi's hair would practically be through the thin and leaking ceiling. "I'd even go so far as to say her hands won't be all sweaty. And even if they are, I have disinfectant."

"Well ,fox, I hope you have enough for me to drown in, otherwise I am _not going out there_."

Kurama rolled his eyes, slightly impressed that Brittany had inadvertently caused Hiei to utter his longest sentence so far today. After being caught kissing Kurama's pillow last night, the smaller demon had been even more quiet and moody than usual. It was actually quite cute that he'd been so embarrassed by it, Kurama thought. "I could go get enough," he offered. "Come on Hiei. You're in this; you have to finish it."

"Hn. I don't _have_ to do anything, Youko Kurama."

"Hiei, if you don't, I promise I will see to it that you get no sweet snow until this play is completed and every last performance is over. In short, Hiei, you will be allowed no consumption and enjoyment of any and all flavors for months to come, up to and including Rocky road," Kurama threatened, knowing Hiei had developed a fondness for that one recently after finding a fly frozen in his strawberry surprise last week. It wasn't likely he'd try that particular flavor again anytime soon. Hiei glared at him.

"You wouldn't."

"I would, Hiei. I would do so without the slightest hint of hesitation or remorse. Do you care to test me on this?" he raised an eyebrow delicately at the fuming fire demon.

"...I can't believe you would do this to me,"Hiei muttered, dropping to the ground, scowling and folding his arms tightly into his cloak, missing Kurama's self-satisfied smile. "Fine. Let's go meet death."

"You wouldn't happen to be talking about me, would you?" an entirely too bright and cheerful voice sounded behind them.

"Hello, Botan."Kurama said pleasantly, discreetly rubbing his ears.

"Hn."

Botan sniffed at this."Humph. You don't always have to be such a sour-puss you know." She waggled a finger at Hiei. "You should try smiling every once in a while. You might find that you like it." Hiei merely continued to stare at her.

Botan blinked and gave a nervous little laugh. "Yes, well, anyway, the director said to tell you forget it. We're running lines on another scene, so you and Kurama aren't needed."

"Thank you Botan." Kurama hid a smile at the pair in front of him. Hiei could be very disconcerting when he looked at you like that without blinking.

"You're welcome." Botan seemed relieved to have an excuse to avoid looking at Hiei. "You wouldn't happen to know where Yusuke is, would you? I can't find him anywhere."

"He and Kuwabara are in the bathroom experimenting with the appropriate amount of soap one needs to put on toilet paper to make it stick exactly to the ceiling." Kurama did smile at this. "I believe they are making some rather interesting designs in there."

"Oh! That boy! I _told_ him..." Botan turned and ran off to yell at Yusuke without bothering to say goodbye. Kurama watched her leave and then glanced down at the silent shadow by his side. He sighed. "Let's go, Hiei. He's given up on you for today." The two friends left, heading for the ice cream parlor, or sweet snow, as Hiei dubbed it.  
  
(Next day)  
  
"Hey shrimp!" Yusuke called cheerfully, he and Kuwabara running to catch up to where Hiei and Kurama stood at the corner waiting for the opportunity to cross the street. "Hey Kurama," he added, clapping him on the shoulder. Kurama smiled in welcome.

"Hello Yusuke. Do you have your script today? I heard the director almost exploded when he discovered you'd lost it,"Kurama replied.

"No," Kuwabara laughed. "He borrowed mine to make a copy of it last night." Yusuke groaned at this.

"Three hours of that stupid light going back and forth, back and forth. I thought I was gonna over expose my brain or something with all the flashes."

"Hn. That wouldn't be too hard," Hiei muttered under his breath.

"Whatsa matter, shrimp?" Kuwabara asked, surprised.

"You're standing here, breathing in all my good clean air. Move away from me," came the caustic reply.

"Never mind him; he was up late last night and he's cranky today." Kurama hurried to head off an argument that would last all day.

"Anyway, I have a copy of the script now, and it cost me a fortune to do it. That director guy better appreciate it."

"You could've simply kept up with your original," Kurama suggested lightly, knowing Yusuke would never do that. The boy hardly knew where his fists were when he was fighting. Kurama suspected the look on his face when it was over wasn't due to exhaustion from the fight so much as it was surprise that it was over and he was still standing. As expected, Yusuke shrugged it off.

"Why would I want to do that? Anyway, the guy almost went completely off the deep end when he found out I still had a hundred pages to go. Had the nerve to sit there and cuss me out. For doing what I was supposed to! Sheesh!" Yusuke stuck his hands in his pockets and slouched along with the rest of them, clearly resentful of the guy's attitude.

"No doubt you returned all you got and then some," Hiei commented dryly.

"Well, yeah! I wasn't about to take that!"

"So, what happened?" Kurama inquired, stopping on the sidewalk to wait for a figure running after them to catch up. The other's followed his lead.

"He got thrown out!" Kuwabara snickered.

"Yusuke! That's three copy places you aren't allowed into anymore! How many times have I told you--you need to be respectful to the employees in those stores?!" a highly indignant voice sounded.

"Hello Keiko."

"Hn."

"AH! Keiko! What's wrong with yo--I mean, where'd you come from?!"

(Slap) "Yusuke Urameshi! I do not have to take that from you! How dare you say that!"

"I didn't say anything,; I asked where you came from! I didn't see you run up!" Yusuke sounded equally indignant, and Keiko puffed up angrily.

"You were about to say I looked like a horrible mess, and what happened to me? How dare you even think that? It's not _my_ fault that Botan and her boyfriend broke up and she came crying to me last night. I told her and told her he was no good, but she wouldn't listen, and now she's all heart broken. Honestly, she's always doing this. I never get any sleep when it happens either because she's so busy wailing about it." The boys sighed as one and quickly tuned the conversation out as they approached the doors of the play house. The director was waiting impatiently outside for them.

"Come on, come on, gotta get a move on, morning's half gone." He ushered them hurriedly inside and collared Yusuke. "You--I trust you have your script now? Good. Go over there and get ready. Scene I4, part 6. Left side curtain. Your counterpart's already there waiting. " He dragged Yusuke off to where they would be working. Botan and Koenma wandered over, Botan's eyes very red. She grabbed Keiko's hand and dragged her off to the bathroom. Koenma shook his head and wandered outside to soak up some sun. Kurama reached out and latched securely onto a certain fire demon's cloak as he tried to make a similar escape.

"Hiei, where might you be going?" Kurama inquired, sweetly. Hiei tried to pull away from the ungiving hold on his shirt.

"Out," he said, daring Kurama to argue. Perhaps if he sounded authoritative enough, he'd relent before realizing he had and then it'd be far to late to catch him. Kurama, however, took up the challenge.

"Oh,. I don't think so. We're going to go to practice. That's what we're here for, after all."

Hiei glared."We already practiced, kitsune. Last night,_ and_ this morning."

"Yes," Kurama said agreeably. "And now we're going to practice here with the other people."

"No!" Hiei yelled, trying to run as his feet slid helplessly on the slick play floor. It seemed to be a contest over which would give out first, the floor or his shirt.

"HEEEYYYYAAAAAY!!!!!" The screech came horrifically, carrying all the way across the room to freeze the panicked demon in his tracks. People looked up, wondering who the unfortunate person was, before pretending to be very busy, lest the siren turn her attentions on them. Hiei struggled harder.

"You can't keep avoiding this, you know. You'll have to deal with it sooner or later." The smiling fox demon appeared to be very smug about all this, although a slightly pained look told Hiei his sensitive ears were burning under the abuse. "And I intend to see to it that it is sooner rather than later." Hiei froze, unable to move as the noise grew louder and more definite. "Come now, Hiei. A great fire demon such as yourself surely isn't intimidated by one silly love-struck ningen girl," Kurama chided slightly. Hiei closed his eyes and started muttering prayers and curses under his breath to Kurama and Koenma and anyone else who might be listening. Kurama watched this, amused. He blinked, and looked down, surprised slightly to find Hiei had been flattened by the shrieking siren, Brittany.

"OH My GOSH, Hiei! I'm _sooooo glad to see you!" _she yelled, squeezing him so his eyes bugged out. "Oh, my sweet, cute, _adorable_ little Romeo! You're just so handsome! I could just eat you up!" She babbled on while Hiei struggled to breathe. He sent a desperate thought out to Kurama.

((Get. Me. Out. Of. Here.))

((I couldn't possibly do that.)) Kurama's thought was suspiciously smug and filled with supposed innocence.

((You planned this, didn't you, fox?)) came the furious reply.

((Of course. I figured you two just had to get to know each other better. And she agreed completely, and simply KNEW you'd be thrilled.)) He smiled innocently.

((She called me "cute"!))

((Well, you are.))

((...))

((In a completely serious and non-suggestive way, of course,)) Kurama added, and waited patiently while Hiei struggled to comprehend all this. The best way to calm him down was to give him something he didn't expect. He _didn't_ expect Kurama to admit he had set this up, and he _didn't_ expect him to agree with her that he was cute. So now his body went more or less still while his mind tried process all this and figure out what it had missed.

((She's going to die,)) Hiei thought flatly.

((You can't. Koenma would have your head if you killed a ningen, especially around other ningens, and even more especially with him in the same room.))

((I don't care.))

((Yes, you do, or you would've done it already.)) Hiei sulked at this; the kitsune was right.

((What exactly did you tell this parasite?))

((Hiei, that's not very nice.))

((death look))

((Only that you were eager to see her and wanted to get to know her better and were looking forward to working with her,))Kurama thought blandly, watching, amused, as Hiei tried to get out of Brittany's death grip. At first it appeared he was making progress, but then she tightened her grip. She WAS like a parasite, Kurama reflected, and suddenly felt very glad it was Hiei, not him, whom she had in her clutches.

((You're dead, fox.)) Kurama stepped back unobtrusively. It sounded like he might actually be willing to try that. Just then, they heard the director yelling in exasperation at his "actors."

"NO! How many times have we gone through this? _Stage_ left! _Stage_ left! That means your right! Come on out and try again. Out stage left, cross to stage center, deliver your dialogue, THEN you duel. NOT come up behind him and knock him unconscious or anything ELSE you've tried!"

"But my way I'd win! It's always better to sneak up behind them and _then_ beat them up. None of this sissy poke-and-jab stuff."

"And I suppose you'd know," the director snapped sarcastically.

"Yeah, I would! How do you think I always win--"

"You cheat. My team leader cheats," Koenma muttered loud enough for Yusuke to hear.

"No more than Kurama or Hiei. You don't think that super speed thing is cheating?!"

"My actors are in a gang?!" shouted the director, outraged.

"No, no, no, we're all members of the Junior police force, sir," Boton interrupted soothingly.

"Sir? I'm not doing this anymore if he's going to keep doing this," the dude opposite Yusuke in his duel spoke up.

"Great. Just great," the director snapped.

"So what? We don't need you," Yusuke sneered, folding his arms indifferently. "That's how _real_ men fight, and we can take it!"

"I didn't sign up to fight; I sighed up to do Shakespeare!" The dude shouted at him.

"Too late, he's dead." Yusuke smirked.

"Look, you!" the director cut in, angrily. "You can't chase everyone off; we have to have him in the play."

"I'll play his part. I could do it better anyway," Yusuke said, unconcernedly.

"You idiot! You can't duel yourself!" the boy yelled. Yusuke paused.

"Maybe now would be a good time to let Hiei and Brittany practice one of their scenes together, since we didn't exactly get through them yesterday," Botan suggested helpfully. Hiei glared daggers at her and she "eeped' and hide behind Kurama.

"OOO! Yes! Yesyesyesyes!" Brittany trilled, clapping her hands as she bounced up and down. At everyone's odd looks, she paused and added, "I love Shake-pear!" as though this explained everything. Perhaps it did. The others shook their heads, Hiei more violently than everyone else.

"Yeah, come on. It's your turn, Shorty," Yusuke said cheerfully, good humor returned now that no one was telling him to fight fair. "Romeo's, like, the man. He's the only one in the play who gets some."

"Hn," Hiei said, clearly indicating he didn't consider this a plus.

"I don't think that's _quite_ what Shakespeare had in mind when he wrote this play..."Kurama said slowly.

The director held his head. Only twenty minutes into practice and already he'd be pulling out the Motrin. He probably should've taken some before starting, but he'd entertained the vague hope that today would go decently..."Fine. Romeo and Juliet's love scene it is. You two follow me." He walked off, leaving everyone staring. Hiei started shaking.

((He didn't just say what I thought he said?))

((Yes. This is the scene where Romeo comes to visit Juliet in the night, sleeps with her, and then leaves in the morning when her parents come. We practiced it last night. Nothing to it. Almost no dialogue.))

((With her?))

((Well, _yes_, Hiei; she _is_ playing Juliet,)) Kurama thought, looking at Hiei as one might a difficult child.

((No.))

((Please?))

((...))

((Sweet snow?)) Kurama tried, hoping to bribe him into it gracefully.

((...))

((Don't make me make you.))

((silence)) His head was quieter now with Hiei glaring viciously at his mind than it ever was.

((I will use the rose, Hiei,)) Kurama thought sternly.

"Hiei! Hey, you lazy bum, over here and do the scene!" The director fairly shouted. Hiei's eye twitched with the effort of keeping quiet, but he walked over and stopped a good ten feet away from Brittany. Kurama and the director sighed in unison.

"Oh, Romeo, _Romeo_ where hast thou been? I have forever been waiting!" Brittany gushed, batting over mascara-ed eyes at him. Hiei stood, wooden. Kurama nudged him.

"Oh, Juliet, how I have longed for you, to feel your sweet arms and touch thy face." he spat, sounding resentful and sullen. Botan and Keiko, watching from seats in the audience, covered their hands with their mouths so no one would hear their giggles.

"Cut, cut, _cut_!" the director screamed. He was turning red now as he waved his arms wildly at Hiei. "What's the matter with you? Give me some of that sweet sugar I saw at auditions! _Mean_ the words, _become_ the words, let the words _move_ you..." He trailed off and let his arms fall to his sides. "Not all this wimpy, wishy-washy stuff." Hiei opened his mouth to reply, but Kurama had anticipated this and stepped firmly on his toes.

"Hey!" Kuwabara had been unusually quiet this whole time and they'd quite forgotten he was there, including the director. "Maybe Shorty would do better if he read lines with Kurama." All eyes looked on him and he continued earnestly. "I mean, I've seen them practice together, and it makes me cry it's so beautiful." Hiei, Yusuke, and the dude snorted. Kurama looked uncomfortable. "And Kurama looks like a girl anyways," Kuwabara finished. Everyone looked at Kurama, who blushed.

"I promise you, Kuwabara, I am a guy," he said dryly.

"Got a point though, hasn't he?" Dude asked, looking Kurama up and down speculatively. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Kurama's always looked like a girl. Gives him an advantage in a fight; everyone's always to busy drooling over him when they tear his shirt off to notice when he slices them open." Kurama was starting to look slightly offended now.

"You do realize most of these people were guys, Yusuke?" he asked.

"Like who?" Dude asked eagerly.  
"Karasu was the main. Liked to blow things up, especially if he thought they were pretty." Yusuke leered at Kurama and laughed. "Very determined guy." Dude laughed, too.

"That's enough, Yusuke," Koenma ordered. "You have no reason to tell anyone of your cases." He glared a warning at him, which as usual was completely ignored. Yusuke rolled his eyes.

"Sure thing, Diaper boy; top secret. I'll say no more." He smirked.

"Diaper boy??" Dude stared at Koenma's stunning teenager form.

"Well, if it means we might actually get through practice, we'll try that." The director sighed. "Let's let Hiei and Kurama run through their love scene and see how it goes." Everyone quieted down and got off the stage where they'd congregated. Hiei and Kurama stood alone, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable.

((How dare you get me into this,)) Hiei thought angrily.

((shrugYou enjoy practicing with me in my room. Just do the same thing here.))

(But now there are people watching.))

((So?))

((I don't want HER to see me acting all soft,)) Hiei sulked.

((Trust me, Hiei. No one is ever really going to think you're soft, and anyway, she'll think what she wants. So go, everyone's waiting.))

((You go first fox, look.)) Kurama looked down at his script, surprised.

((Oh, I do have the first line. I apologize.)) He cleared his throat and began.

Once Kurama's voice started, all else faded away and Hiei had no trouble falling into character like they now did every night at Kurama's house. The director was shocked at the change, and wondered if perhaps there _was_ really something going on between the two. It was worth looking into. This, however, was incredible. Everything he wanted, hoped, DREAMED of achieving with this play, to bring it to life, these two boys were doing. Without any props or costumes, they transported their audience back into a time in this world long past, and each word spoken carried with it the emotional catastrophe in which the play would end. The single thought they all shared rang out loud and clear: "If only Kurama were a girl."

Only one person was not thrilled at this, and that was Brittany. Watching the two boys, and the way Hiei opened up so easily to Kurama and not to her, she was filled with bitter jealously and decided to walk outside. "How could he do this? Am I not good enough? Or pretty enough? Or tall and red haired and MALE enough??" she raged silently.

Unfortunately for her, no one had mentioned that they had gotten some roofers to fix the leaks in the ceiling before they ruined the props, and, _most_ unfortunately, one of the workers lost hold of a large bag of shingles, which rolled swiftly down the roof and fell, just as Brittany passed through the doorway. She never even got the chance to scream.

Back on stage, Kurama and Hiei came out of an almost trance-like state to find them selves in a half embrace with one another. Hiei quickly put a six-foot gap between them, closer than the on he put between himself and Brittany out of respect for their deep friendship that they never spoke of. Kurama looked around vaguely as everyone else followed the hysterical roofer out of the building.

((That was close,)) he remarked casually. ((We might have to modify that a little bit for practice.))

((I wonder what the problem out there is. I hear sirens.)) Hiei's voice was carefully neutral.

((Don't know. Shall we investigate?))

((Must we?)) Hiei wrinkled his nose, almost causing Kurama to laugh out loud at the sight. Restraining himself, he nodded.

((Yes.))

((Hn.))

They arrived in time to see an ambulance screech off in the distance, sounding like it might be a distant relative of Brittany's, and the words "broken neck" flitted to their ears. The director hung his head. second practice only, and already a main character lost. Admittedly, she hadn't been that good, but she was still _necessary_. You couldn't very well have Romeo and Juliet with no Juliet. Or a Juliet in a neck brace. This proved it:. he was obviously cursed. The whole production was.

"Hn. No more Brittany," Hiei smirked.

"Whoa, dude. What're the chances of that happening?" Dude was clearly thrilled at his near presence to fate.

"I wonder if she'll be ok..." Keiko wondered. The rest of them shrugged. No one had been terribly fond of her. It still left the problem of no Juliet, but Yusuke readily solved that.

"Guess you're stuck bein' Juliet 'til Britt gets back," he said cheerfully, clapping Kurama on the back. The director stared. This was it; he knew it. The perfect solution, and so obvious. Kurama looked like a girl, and played the part very well, as they had seen already...and there was _definitely_ something going on between him and Hiei, which took care of the uncomfortable factor between guys....

"Yes, I think that will do nicely," he decided aloud. He looked meaningfully at first Kurama, and then at Hiei. "I trust this will present no problems? No objections, I hope."

Kurama's eyes widened as he caught onto what the director must be thinking. Hiei was calculating the chance of such an incident occurring again, should he need that particular convenience in future.

"I think that's a good place to stop for the day," Botan said loudly.

"Before some one ELSE gets hurt," Keiko added dryly as the director winced.

"Yes, that might be best. I doubt we'd get much more done today anyway."

"Cool!" said Dude. "I'm going to go get some ice cream! You guys wanna come?"

"Sweet snow?" Hiei asked hungrily, hopeful eyes on Dude, who looked uncomfortably at Kurama, who gave him a small smile. He thought "sweet snow" was an adorable name.

"Yeah, man, I guess so," he answered. Yusuke cheered.

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((Anica106: She didn't give me an author's note to put here, so I'll just say that I'll try to get her to update soon. Give her good review--she really tried hard to make my job easier this time. Hope she's still in such an industrious mood next time...it shouldn't be too long between posts. See you.))


	4. But it's got a hole in it

  
  
Hey, everyone. Another chapter finished. And not without a lot of effort on my part and lots of late-night role playing against her will with a headache on Anica's part. Hope everyone enjoys this one. I will say I was rather disappointed in the (lack of) reviews on the last chapter. I mean really, people, I typed that thing up twice for you! That was almost twelve pages handwritten, even with my extensive abbreviations. I really don't like asking for reviews, but I am this time. Please, please, PLEASE review! Otherwise I won't have anything to pay my muses with, and they'll go on strike again. I really don't want to have to let them do that, as it means no more updates until they come back, or until I threaten another muse to help me... However, I DID get three reviews on the last chapter, so I'll thank you guys now. (grins)  
  
Hinote Kitsune Nikore Hey, thanks SO SO SOO much for your review; you made my day! Well, I have another chappie up for your enjoyment. Go ahead and lock your door so maybe no one will hear you laugh. (I think it's that funny at least.) No no no no...no maleXmale pairings. The joke is that everyone thinks Kurama and Hiei are together, Hiei's completely oblivious, and poor Kurama can't do anything about it, even though he's fully aware of what's going on. Anica and I got together last night and brainstormed the ending to this fic(don't worry, not for several more chapters still--if I get enough reviews (coughcough) and it's going to deal with everyone realizing what everyone else was thinking. It's going to be funny. Do enjoy the chapter though, we worked hard on it. (grins) See you later!  
  
What2callmyself...Erm...heh heh...perhaps MORE than slight chaos? Lol. Who knows at this point? Very glad you enjoyed the fic so far. Feel free to drop another review! have a good day! (grins)

Miliko01 Wow...talk about a last minute review. (grins) Anica is supposed to post this next chapter later today. Thankies for reviewing; it make me happy! (makes cat face) Um, you won't see Hiei and Kurama acting opposite for at least one more chapter, though. And I'm considering having the next actual play practice focus more on the rest of the team since I've kinda ignored them all so far. Anyway, here's the next chapter as per last minute request; tell me what you think! Thanks.

Anica106 Hey 2face. Thanks again. I'm not sure how well edited this chapter's going to be before it gets to you, though. I may not be feeling quite so enterprising this time. (grins) You should laugh while you're banging your head on your desk at my quote punctuations, though, I can promise that much.. I couldn't stop laughing last night while we were role-playing, and this morning typing it up. BJ got quite irritated with me about it. (s.o.t.) Not that I care, especially since he made me listen to that beyond obnoxious music again when he watched the movie (4 the 3rd time) this morning. Anyways. thanks a bunch, and get ready to proof it. (grins)  
  
**Warning:** Slightly more ooc-ness in this chapter because I couldn't figure out how to keep it strictly in character for this. You'll understand when you read it. Still not bad, though. Also, this chapter is mainly Hiei dealing with two other characters of my own invention, but they're not main characters. It's all for humor, and I promise it's funny. They think Hiei and Kurama are together, and it's an abusive relationship. Hiei has no idea. They try and give him a "pep talk, man to man."  
  
**Shameless review begging spot: **Please, everybody? If I make a cute face? I worked hard to get this one out to you guys soon. It's my gift to you all since I'm getting my braces off Monday, and I'm going to need reviews to cheer me up after having some random guy's hands in my mouth prying metal off my teeth for two hours. Enjoy!

((Anica106 again...you know the drill. (sighs) She wasn't joking, by the way; we worked our butts off for several nights and I _did_ have a headache. So please be nice...and as far as I know we don't own YYH.)

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Chapter 4: But it's got a hole in it...

"Hiei, look, I'm _sorry_. I promise I had no idea it would do that."

"Hn."

"I can't believe you're holding a grudge against me for this."

"Hn!"

"....You're really being very childish about this, you know."

"Hn."

"...If I buy you another one?"

"....hn..."

"Fine. I'll be right back with it." Kurama turned on his heel and walked out. Imagine Hiei of all people pouting because the dog Kurama had gone to pet had eaten his ice cream. Ridiculous! Being in the ningenkai was softening the petulant little fire demon more than he realized. He _was_ really little, though, Kurama reflected. The dog had been nearly as tall as Hiei, a breed called "Great Dame" or something. Some odd breed. It had almost toppled Hiei in its eagerness to eat his ice cream and lick his face. Kurama chuckled. Hiei was too cute for his own good. First Brittany and now that dog--Henri, or something. Everyone just seemed to want to cuddle and drool all over him.

Hiei, meanwhile, sat sulking on the floor of the playhouse where the dog had placed him after their vicious battle for the ice cream cone. If Kurama hadn't confiscated his katana after the "incident last night," as he'd called it, the stupid mutt wouldn't have gotten within ten feet of his precious sweet snow. But he had confiscated his katana, and the sweet snow couldn't move as fast as Hiei could--it fell off the cone. And the idiotic mongrel had taken Hiei's frantic attempts at defending himself as part of the game. What self-defense were you supposed to use on a dog, anyway?! Baka mutt.  
Hiei leaned back against the heating unit and continued to sulk. Stupid dogs. If Kurama hadn't _insisted_ on dragging him up to it because he wanted to know what it was.....stupid Kurama.

The Friar shuffled in with a bang--the door wasn't set in its hinges properly--and came over to Hiei, adjusting his robes, wrinkled face concerned. Dude stumbled in after, running into the door frame on his way in and tripping over his feet a short ways away from Hiei. He had an insane grin on his face. Hiei kept a carefully neutral expression on his face and eyed the pair guardedly. They had accompanied the Reikai Tantei to the sweet snow parlor the night before, and had proved to be an interesting couple. Dude was full of random knowledge about anything and everything and possessed a very laid back attitude that sometimes reminded Hiei a little too much of Yusuke when he was in a good mood. Hiei didn't trust anyone who was in a "good mood." If you were "in a good mood," then you were probably up to something. The Friar, on the other hand, he had found out, was a Tibetan monk who raised his own medicinal and holy plants in his basement. Kurama had raised an eyebrow at the descriptions of some of them from Dude, but had said nothing. Hiei did not know what to make of them. So he sat, waiting for someone to say something. It was the Friar who spoke first.

"Hiei. We just overhear conversation of disturbing, uh, how you say? Measures." Hiei raised an eyebrow. The Friar continued. "You and the red hair, you have, erm, interesting relationship, yes?"

Hiei considered this slowly, and from all angles. Maybe the Friar had caught onto the demon thing. It wouldn't have been hard the way Yusuke had been talking about their cases last night. And the Friar claimed to be a holy man, so must be familiar with demons existing. Or maybe he didn't know and was just one of those people who spent his spare time bothering other ningens by being all "kind" and "understanding." Kurama did that a lot. Hn. That must be it.

"Interesting relationship?" he repeated suspiciously. The Friar wrung his hands.

"Oh, is hard to say in this, this Eenglish. Back in Old Tongue, is easy. You, and he, er..."more than friends?'"

Hiei considered this question as well. More than friends? Yes, of course they were "more" than friends. They were fighting partners. Were they "more" than that? He trusted Kurama more than anyone else. Interesting relationship? Kurama had taken to tickling him with his plants as he slept as of late. Something about the smaller demon's reaction seemed to amuse him. But he thought nothing of it. They were constantly thinking of little annoyances to play on each other. Each had its amusements for a time, and was retired as its humor ran out. It kept things interesting over the hundreds of years they were likely to spend in each other's company. Petty annoyances were needed, but Hiei had noticed very few ningen recognized this fact, apart from Yuuske and Kuwabara. Did this mean they had an "interesting relationship," as the Friar put it?

The Friar seemed to take his long silence for denial. "I see you two, in practice and other times. You are, how you say, close. You look at each other very...often. And you help him with his inner demons."

Hiei was instantly on guard, skin prickling. "Kurama has no inner demons," he spat, eyes narrowed.

"No no no no no, all have inner demons. Struggles, past events one must reconcile and live with. Regrets and secret sins, thoughts so dark one buried them away in denial so that none may ever know, not even oneself."

Hiei paused. Perhaps he was a holy man; he certainly talked nonsense like one. "Kurama's different," he said defiantly.

"I see him, and you. He has much difficulty sometimes--he goes silent and makes most horrible expressions. I saw him bang head against wall other day. You go to him, help him in these troubled times," the Friar said with certainty.

Hiei shrugged. "So?" he asked, not sure what this was leading up to. The Friar paused, seeming to hesitate.

"But, you are angered with him now, are you not?"

"He let that _dog_ have my sweet snow!" Hiei exploded, remembering the whole incident he'd quite nearly forgotten all over again. Dude and the Friar seemed taken aback by his outburst.

"Sweet snow?" The Friar wrinkled his brow.

"Dude! That snow stuff's awesome! I get some every DAY after practice!" Dude enthused. A stagehand carrying a cardboard cutout of a tree happened to walk by at that moment and hurried on quickly, with many furtive glances sideways at the trio. They ignored him.

"I _was_ going to eat some, but that creature got it first and Kurama wouldn't let me stop it," Hiei sulked.

"Man, I know how you feel! My ex, she was like, 'no, you don't eat any more of that sugar junk.' Something about it being bad for you. She was a real tofu nut." Dude shook his head sadly. "I was real sorry for her when she went to the hospital with that 'rexia disease. It was sad." Hiei and the Friar looked at him a moment, blank-faced. The Friar attempted to regain control of the conversation.

"But, small dark one, your red-hair, does he deny you this sweet snow often?"

"No. He usually lets me finish his."

"Oh. But he not let you have it this time?" the Friar asked, confused. Maybe he'd misjudged the situation. Maybe they really had a healthy relationship....

"He said not to do anything with people watching," Hiei sniffed, glaring angrily at the memory.

"This, this sweet snow, it is important to your relationship, yes?"

"We always have it after we fight," Hiei said casually.

"...And, do you two....er, fight often?" the Friar asked, looking at Hiei more concernedly than he had a moment ago.

"We fight everyday from six to eight, after Kurama does his homework and whatever it is he does in his garden," Hiei said, smirking. It had taken quite a bit of effort to talk Kurama into two hour training sessions everyday. He'd been reluctant and only agreed after Hiei relented to his demand of helping him finish studying for everything first. And he'd insisted they cut back to an hour only during the end of year tests. The Friar for some reason, paled at this announcement. Hn. Probably scared.

"Everyday?" he asked.

"Awesome! Me and my last girlfriend, we like, fought off and on all day. One time we're like, in the middle of a movie and she starts yelling at me for no reason. You and Kurama just schedule it in all at once and have the whole rest of the day free. It's brilliant!" Dude grinned very enthusiastically at Hiei, who paused. He suspected that they weren't quite talking about the same thing.

"But, but, you not need to fight like that," the Friar interrupted, sounding slightly concerned. "You should enjoy time together, talk about things--watch the plants grow," he added, as a last resort. The short one had mentioned a garden in there somewhere. If they fought daily, things were more worrisome than he'd originally thought.

"Dude, plants are cool," Dude said, nodding sagely. "Like, those mushroom things you've got? That glow in the dark when you turn the basement light off? Totally sweet."

Hiei scowled. "Kurama always makes me look at his plants. He spends hours in his garden talking to them."

"Talking plants. Dude..." Dude swayed slightly and sat back.

"He says they talk. He won't let me touch them. Just because that one convict ambushed me right outside his garden, and it got a _little_ messed up. Most of it wasn't even me. His plants _hurt_ when you touch them." Hiei scowled, remembering when one particularly large youkai had broken out of Koenma's prison and had jumped him. Hiei had just been standing there, watching his friend's plants "dance." He wasn't lying--those plants _stung_ when you touched them. The garden had been destroyed. Hiei had slightly lost his temper when Kurama's prized rose swiped its thorns at him for coming too close and had incinerated the whole thing, as well as the unfortunate youkai. Kurama had still been sore about that a week later, something about five years wasted trying to get that one spot exactly like the rare makai conditions required for that particular rose to grow. Koenma had also been put out over the whole event, as it had transpired that the youkai in question had been wanted for the theft of a valuable sword. Hiei had shrugged it off. He knew for a fact that that particular sword had in fact been a fake, the real one having been stolen by Youko Kurama years ago. Kurama had kept strangely quiet during the whole investigation once the youkai had broken out. The Friar interrupted his thoughts once more, causing Hiei to snarl in annoyance.

"Your red hair, he is very violent?" The Friar peered concernedly at Hiei.

"Only when he's upset, or his plants are involved," Hiei said dryly. The Friar paused, considering.

"You say you fight often. How much time do you spend together not?" Hiei's brow wrinkled as he puzzled this out. Kurama had explained that this was the friar's second language and he wasn't as fluent in it.

"I visit him every night."

"After fighting?"

"We eat sweet snow and then he makes me stay in his room, unless his mom comes in. Then he makes me hide in the closet."

__

'Aha! A possible solution!' the Friar thought. Dude was still swaying slightly in his seat.

"I like closets. I've spent a lot of time in there hiding from other exes before." Hiei and the Friar looked at him.

"...this girlfriend one who was insane?" the Friar queried.

Dude shook his head easily. "Nah, that was Julie. This is Nadia."

"I thought I tell you, three people bad for holiness."

"Dude! I didn't know who he was! He just lived with her! I thought he was like her protective older brother...or maybe a dad..." Dude said earnestly. The Friar apparently had had enough of this as he turned back to Hiei.

"Whatever. Dark One, why your red-hair make you stay in closet? Does he not want his mother to see you?"

"No," Hiei shrugged. "She doesn't like him having guys over after dark. Said it doesn't look right." He folded his arms and leaned back against the wall. The Friar frowned.

"And what does he say about that?"

"He wants me to visit him. It's almost mandatory now. I come spend the night with him almost every time." Hiei frowned slightly himself now at the thought. Kurama was right; he enjoyed the role-playing they did, but there w_as_ such a thing as too much. However, the kitsune was always like this when he found something new to catch his interest. Fox curiosity. He'd play with his new toy until he tired of it, or until it broke. Hiei knew this side of him and reluctantly tolerated Kurama's enthusiasm for the play, knowing things would revert to normal once he'd tired of it. And he was right, much to the koorime's annoyance. Once they got started, it was amazing how fast time passed, and he never regretted it.... And Kurama's bed was more comfortable than his tree, although he never allowed himself to stay in it past day break, even if it was still raining. He dealt with too many other things to hang around the kitsune all day.

"You...see him, every night, after fighting?" The Friar seemed confused about something.

"Yes," Hiei said impatiently, waving it away. "Then, when he's tired of me, he tells me to go away," he added as an afterthought, remembering last night, when Kurama had hit his head on a bookshelf while they'd been mock dueling. Kurama had been teaching him the proper ningen style for that area and time period. He'd grumbled and gotten a "freaking huge headache" from it, and not so politely requested that Hiei leave. Hiei rolled his eyes. Kurama dropped the cover of politeness only when he was around him.

"But, where do you sleep?" The Friar asked, looking at him.

"In his tree."

"What?!" the Friar wailed, wondering what kind of hold Kurama could have over the smaller boy to cause him to need to stay close by, even after being beaten and thrown out. "Small spiky one, what of your own home?" He looked at Hiei with great concern.

"Hn. They threw me out," Hiei muttered. _Obviously_, the Friar worried, _he is pained much still but wishes no one to know it._

"Does your red hair, er, has he...um--" he stammered.

"Kurama knows. Everyone knows. No one is allowed to want to have anything to do with me," Hiei stated, tonelessly. He really was getting quite tired of repeating this. Gods, wasn't it enough that everyone back home and in the Makai knew of his heritage? That they flinched at the very mention of his name? Not that that last one was a bad thing...

The Friar looked sadly at the small boy in black before him. He was, obviously, unloved at home. Perhaps this was why he kept himself in such a destructive relationship--it was all he felt he had.  
"But,...you sleep in his tree?" he asked in disbelief.

"Kurama doesn't mind. It's better than his closet, anyway." The Friar blanched. In his home land, monks were punished for sinning by being locked up in closets.

"At least he has a nice closet. The last one I was locked in had rats," Hiei said thoughtfully. not that they had lasted long, or he had been imprisoned in that closet long, he thought, smirking.

"Rats?" Dude and the Friar asked simultaneously, Dude, with interest, the Friar, with horror.

"Kurama doesn't have rats, though. He wouldn't allow anything in there that could mess up his clothes. He's as vain as Youko"

"Dude, I love closets, man. You never know what your gonna find in them. It's like a treasure hunt." Dude paused thoughtfully. "Only, without the like, actual treasure."

"Hn. Kurama's is full of clothes. and his shoes. Doesn't even wear most of them; 'they're for special occasions.'" Hiei shook his head at the memory.

"Dude, like, my last girlfriend's, brother's, littlest sister had some _weird_ stuff in her closet. Like, this whole box of stuff labeled 'thongs'? Man, what's that supposed to mean? A whole box of different colored strings tied together." He shook his head, bewildered, as Hiei and the Friar just stared at him. Neither knew exactly what he was talking about, Hiei having never been informed of the various types of girls' underwear by Kurama, and the Friar because his one and only girlfriend refused to tell him. But both knew instinctively that this was a topic better left alone.

"...Kurama's closet doesn't have those," Hiei finally said.

"But, back to the closets; why does he toss you in there so very often?" the Friar asked, trying desperately to redirect the conversation.

"I told you, his mother doesn't like guys in his room after dark.'' Hiei shrugged, shoulders barely rising an inch to indicate his complete and total lack of interest. "She keeps walking in on us. I told him he's going to have to tell her about me sooner or later, but--"

"She doesn't know?" Dude asked curiously.

"No. So he throws me in there every night when she comes in to check on him.. Last time I left a head shaped dent on the wall. I'd like to see him try and explain that to her." He snorted at this. Kurama had accidentally pushed him too hard, causing Hiei to trip over his shoes, resulting in him smashing head first into the back of the kitsune's closet. Kurama had frantically shushed the cursing fire demon through the door seconds before Shiori had walked in, wondering what the noise had been. The Friar protested Hiei's calm statement violently, hands flying.

"No! He must not treat you like this! You are not a doll-puppet to be picked up and played with everyday and then tossed on the floor or in the closet when he is done! You must fight this! You must--"

Dude, meanwhile, had been looking at the wall in vague fascination, wondering if he could make a head shaped dent in it as well. He now took both Hiei and the Friar by surprise and hurled himself, full-tilt, into said wall. Hiei and the Friar watched in mild interest as he crashed, following him to the floor with their eyes. The Friar sighed and turned back to Hiei. The stagehand scurried back by the trio now carrying a mop and a bucket of water, and looking worried.

"You are more than he has made you!'' the Friar finished. Hiei bristled at this, growling.

"Kurama hasn't _made_ me anything!" he snapped.

"Of course not. This is why you must not let this mistreatment of you control you," the Friar said placatingly.

"I let a camel mistreat me once." Dude's voice came rather uncertainly from his corner. He paused, considering. "Or was that my last girlfriend?" He looked at them both, puzzled. They returned the stare.

"Please, ignore him. He is not well, " the Friar said, sighing.

"I was beginning to suspect as much..."Hiei muttered.

"I tell him, special plants only for divinely inspired, but do he listen?"

Hiei looked at him blankly.

"Of course not!" The Friar finished, throwing his hands up into the air helplessly. "They are my special purification plants, and not to be used--"

"What about those ones you burned last night? Those didn't smell very purifying. Pretty colors though." Dude grinned inanely at them both. The Friar reddened.

"Those are my special medicine plants, used for--"

"They, like, make your whole mind open," Dude nodded appreciatively.

"You were not supposed to use them! They are for special times only!"

"Dude, I'd like some sweet snow," Dude said, not appearing to have heard a word the Friar had just said. Hiei just looked at the two of them. Something wasn't quite adding up here. The Friar seemed pleased to return to topic. He pointed at Hiei.

Hiei ignored him. "Kurama has special plants too, but I'm fairly sure they're not divinely enlightening. He gave them to this girl once...he still doesn't know I saw them."

"I am believing this conversation has strayed from purpose," The Friar said primly. They both ignored him.

"But, Dude, I, like, use your plants all the time!" Dude blinked and stared up at the fuming Friar earnestly.

"Kurama's never let me near his plants since I incinerated the whole garden."

"Oh, cool! I've always wanted to try that!" Dude yelled, enthused by the idea.

"They are _HOLY_ plants, only to be used by us who are accomplished in faith!" the Friar snapped.

"Dude!" Dude said, staring at him in rapt fascination. "You have a god?? What's he look like?" The Friar stared back at him and spluttered.

"Do I...a...you....I'm a monk! Of course I have--" Dude interrupted him, running over the Friar's words in his excitement.

"Do you have to, like, make virgin sacrifices? Cause I dunno, man, that's pretty weird. I mean, all that blood? And how do they _know_ she's a virgin anyway?"

Hiei, who had been watching all this is disbelief, shook his head and muttered loud enough for the Friar to hear, "Youko used to rob monks. Said they were the wealthiest ba-"

"Can we sacrifice an onion bulb instead?" Dude asked seriously. "Cause my other girlfriend's allergic to onions and she didn't tell me and I brought one home....I can't tell if she's crying cause of that or because I smeared mayo all over the rug." The Friar, meanwhile, had been staring at Hiei in disbelief, and now protested his words.

"We are NOT wealthy ba--"he froze, clapped his hand over his mouth, and stared at them both in horror. "Must...purify..." he stumbled over to where the stagehand had left his bucket of water while mopping the floor and dumped the contents over his head. The stagehand stared at him in terror. The Friar wiped his eyes and stumbled back over to Dude and Hiei, wringing out his robes. Hiei raised an eyebrow at him.

"Kurama said Youko got most of his best treasures from the monks because people always tried to bribe their way into whatever afterlife they wanted. And since monks didn't need worldly temptations anyway, everybody won from his deal. Especially him."

"All I wanted was to make her dinner. It was our three month anniversary...I'd never had a three month anniversary before..." Dude sniffled. The Friar looked indignantly at Hiei.

"We do _so_ need worldly temptations! What else are we supposed to purify ourselves from doing?"

"--And then she dumped me and sent me the dry cleaning bill."

"Well, I suppose if you look at it that--" Hiei started to say when Dude, finally catching up on the current conversation, cut him off.

"Dude! Worldly temptations rock!" Hiei and the Friar just looked at him.

"Like, the band? Worldly Temptations?" They mutely shook their heads, Hiei stopping abruptly when he realized what he was doing. "You guys are so out of it. You need to get out more," Dude said, shaking his head at them solemnly.

"...Kurama likes classical," Hiei finally said.

"Man, that's so...classical though," Dude protested.

"Ah! Do you have same interest in music? Music very good tool for relationship." The Friar had brightened perceptibly at this statement.

"I don't see what Kurama finds so exciting about a bunch of dead tight-wearing German men," Hiei said flatly. Dude and the Friar traded glances.

"...Maybe he's gay?" Dude suggested. The Friar bonked him on the head at this.

"Insensitive oyster!"he snapped.

"What's gay?" Hiei asked, confused. Dude and the Friar shared uncomfortable glances.

"It's like...what you and Kurama are...I think..." Dude said uncertainly. The Friar put his head in his hands.

"Alright, small dark one, you will understand what I am saying. Observe this rock. See how it is at peace." He pulled a rock out from somewhere in his robes and handed it to Hiei.

"It's a rock. It can't do anything else," Hiei said blankly.

"Dude! Rocks _rock_.''

Hiei and the Friar ignored him.

"This is what you must look for in you relationship. This is your goal," the Friar told Hiei, who held it up and examined it.

"It's got a hole in it," he said accusingly.

"...Yyeesss...a hole." The Friar recovered quickly. "You see, the hole means significance. It is you and your red hair's faults. You have them and cannot hide them. However,"--he pulled another, smaller stone from his robes and waved it at Hiei, who looked at it cross-eyed and annoyed--"you can fill the void with trust and understanding and everything falls into place." He attempted to push a smaller rock into the hole. Hiei and Dude watched his increasingly violent movements in silence. Eventually, Hiei grew bored with this and turned to Dude.

"How many girlfriends have you had, exactly?"

"Dunno man, but I can tell you none of them had a _hole _in them," he said indignantly, staring at the rock in the Friars hands. The Friar threw away the smaller one, hitting the stagehand squarely on the head as he walked by to put the mops and bucket up. The stagehand squeaked and ran by.

"As I say before," the Friar panted. "the hole is your shortcomings. If you and your red hair over come these, small spiky one, then you will be happy. He must learn to control that Youko, and live with both faces, and you must help him. 'A tame horse has room for two,' as they say." He handed the rock to Hiei. "You must meditate for two hours a day on this, to learn what it's secrets be, and to understand them." Hiei took the rock, puzzled.

"But I thought you said--"

"Never mind what I say! Just do it!" the Friar snapped.

"Dude, I wouldn't worry about it." Dude said companionably, clapping Hiei on the shoulder and missing the look of surprised this gesture earned him. "In a thousand years the rock'll be so eroded that the hole won't matter anyway."

The Friar put his head in his hands. "I need my special plants," he muttered. "I should not have to endure this on my own steam..."

"Dude, I can get them for you. Which ones are you wanting?" Dude said helpfully. The Friar didn't look up.

"The ones with the white flowers. And don't drop them this time."

"Dude, I wanna learn to be just like you. You're, like, at peace with the world and stuff. My other girlfriend tried to get me into yoga but I like this better. Flowers rock. Especially when you smoke them," he added as he wandered off. The Friar looked up and turned red.

"...Divine inspiration?" Hiei suggested.

"It is foretold in the scriptures!" he said defensively.

"What religion of monk are you anyway?" Hiei asked curiously. The Friar just shook his head as Dude cam back.

"Dude, I like, couldn't find any flowers like you wanted. I think we had them all last night for dinner. I told you it looked a little weird." He ignored the Friars sudden look of distress. "But don't worry; I brought us this." He held out a bowl of ice cream for the Friar. "It's, like, the fat free kind. My other girlfriend took all the regular stuff. This is all left over from the 'rexia one. Tofu nut." He sat down and nodded.

Hiei looked at the two of them.. He looked at the rock. He figured Kurama was probably waiting for him at his house with HIS sweet snow. He looked at the rock more closely. _'Might as well keep it. He seemed like it meant a lot to him. Maybe Kurama will know something about it.'_ He shrugged, then turned and walked away, leaving the Friar eating fat-free ice cream and Dude rambling on about his "tofu nut" girlfriend.

A few minutes after he left, Dude looked up. "Dude, he's like, vanished."

The Friar looked up and sighed. "Such is the way of the smallest dragonfly.''

"Whoa, man...that was deep," Dude told him. The Friar nodded tiredly and went back to eating his ice cream. Now he only had to find a way to speak to the red hair about all this. As they said, "never leave any goose ungathered in the spring."  
  
=========================================

WOW.....that's all, folks. You have no idea how hard that chapter was to write...I rewrote it like three times...I was so proud of myself, too, because I wrote, like, half of it on trains and buses while I was in Scotland and those are NOT easy things to write in...and I used, maybe three pages of what I wrote then. Sad...anyway, hope you all liked this chapter. I worked really hard on it. Next up: Kurama returns moments after Hiei leaves to give him his new ice cream. What happens when Dude and the Friar give him their little "man to man" talk? And like I said up there, I really don't like asking for reviews, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Plz??? plz, plz, plz, plz, PLZ review? I need divine inspiration that doesn't come from illegal mushrooms. Lol  
  
**( For those of you who did not get this, the friar has illegal plants in his basements that are hallucinogens, among others. This is why Kurama raised his eyebrows when he heard the description; he knows what plants they are. Dude is normally a lot smarter than he was in this chapter, but he has been sampling a few of the friar's holy plants and is not quite all here. (grins) ...There was something else...I can't remember....oh, well. That's all, folks! Sky Fire Dragon signing out. (whew...))**


	5. Time to Lock the Mushroom Door

A/N: Hey everybody! I know I haven't updated in a long time...I wonder if you even remember me...but guess what? I'm not going to apologize for taking so long. Wanna know why? Of course you do! Because I clearly stated back in the author notes in chapter 2 that there was no telling how often they would get updated. On top of that, I had the worst case of writer's block and lethargy known to man kind...or woman kind...whichever, and believe me, you wouldn't want to read the stuff I would've written had I forced myself to write. So. No apologies. Blame my muse...Jocasta....or whatever her name was. See? It's been so long since she stopped by in the middle of the night with Inspiration(her favorite drink) that I can't even remember HER name. Guess that's not saying much for me, then...oh well.  
  
Next off...I'm going to rant a bit here...not at any one of you guys, but at everyone in general...WHAT ARE YOU GUYS THINKING? DO YOU THINK IF THEY AUTHOR(ESS) DOESN'T BEG SHE DOESN'T CARE IF SHE GETS REVIEWED? WHAT IN THE WORLD? I GOT MORE REVIEWS FOR THIS CHAPTER (and some for others somewhat delayed) THAN I HAVE FOR THIS ENTIRE STORY. MIND EXPLAINING THIS BIT OF LOGIC? DO I HAVE TO BEG TO BE NOTICED? I HAVE AN EXCUSE; I CAN'T REVIEW ON MY COMPUTER. IT WILL. NOT. LET. ME. BUT I ASSURE YOU, I REVIEW THEM IN MY HEAD, AND I KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE A GOOD FIC. EVEN IF I CAN'T TELL THE WRITER THAT. Whew. OK. Done. Sorry if I startled anyone. Seriously, I LOVED all the reviews. Tha,ks a million. But I did find it a little odd that it took some of you so long to bother telling me you enjoyed it. What if none of you had and I had given up in defeat? Well....I wouldn't...because I'm stubborn like that. But OTHER people might. SO. Go out there, all ye bold reviewers, and give some credit where credit is due. That is thy homework.  
  
(shakes head and wonders where that came from.)  
  
**Review Responses: U no wanna read, skip through them.**

kurama and hieis lover: well...I updated, hope you enjoy this installment as much as the previous ones.  
  
**oscar: **I am, I am...I have the next few chapters written already, from before...see author note at bottom...glad you like it, thank you.  
  
**lilyglass **thankyou 2face. I like the Dudu...although it was a typo. he he...U messed up. well. that made me feel better. (rolls eyes) yes, the person who proofed it was awesome, you shameless ....thing. (clutches head) It's to late 2 b thinking up insults rt. now. See u...oh wait...I WON"T see u in school anymore...(is sad) "ur leaving? waddle I do w/o u?" whatever. update urs now.  
  
**SilverTiger-GoldenPheonix: **Awesome name, first off. I love silver. And I was a phoenix for Halloween too....and I love tigers...not quite as fond of gold as silver, but I guess you can't have everything...I will read your story at the soonest possible date( aka: um...soon, I hope) and type up a review and e-mail to my loyal friend who posts these things for me since my computer won't. And she'll send it to you. So, indirect as it may be, I hope to read and review your story soon. Glad to see I'm not the only one with some pride here. (sniffs)  
  
**Anica106 **(sniffs) thank you...(beams) i can't tell u how plz'd i am ull never 4get the dialogue now...or how hard we worked on it..i still have it saved and printed out too. :P**  
  
netta1029 **Thank you thank you thank you SOOO much! You made me happy! No, seriously, I was having a terrible day when I got your review and it made me feel better. Doesn't that make you all warm and fuzzy inside now, knowing that? Even more so, because I REMEMBER that this review made me happy. (grins) (hands over Oreo) thanks a bunch. Hope to hear from you in the future. (P.S.: I love monk and dude, too...they'll keep coming back, never fear.)  
  
**Hakudoshi-chan **Glad you like it. I rather think s, too. (bows deeply and grins)  
  
**Robin-Autumn, Dark-Autumn **um, Are you the same person? I got all the reviews so close to each other and the name and reviews themselves were so similar...or are yoo sisters...or something? Or not? (is confused) Anyway...thank you...both....a bunch. I'm glad You find it funny; I hope this chapter is equally so.  
  
**Miliko01** Yea!! Glad your enjoying it so much...Hey. Wanna know something funny? ( I thought so, anyways.) When I read your first review...chapter three, I think? You were like, "yeah, this is awesome, I loved it! Is this clear enough? If not keep on writing"' or something...and I sat there for the longest time trying to figure out what that was over. It wasn't until I went back and read ALL my reviews, even the older ones I'd already replied to that I got it. I saw your first one, where I couldn't tell what you thought, and realized it was the same reviewer...and I started laughing so hard...so, yeah. (grins embarrassedly) Thanks for clearing that up.. .but really, I'm extremely pleased that you enjoy it so much. I do plan on writing heaps and heaps of it...although not as many chapters, because in case you hadn't noticed...these are extremely long...especially this last one( see author note at bottom). Over and Out.  
  
**maki-sama **Yep. if you read the first author note...that's exactly why I started writing this in the first place..I hate Shakespeare, honestly. (Dodges flying missiles and Anica's threats) I do. I can't stand him. I'm having so much fun with this...anyway..thanks a million.  
  
**Very important author note! Everyone please read!  
**OK, this isn't the important part, but if I missed any of the review responses, I apologize; it was not intentional. **Important part:** As I'm sure you guys noticed, these chapters have been getting longer and longer. It took me well over six hours to type chapter four up, and Anica was ready to kill me after proofing it( a full time job for her, knowing me), but she was too tired. SO. chapters will be shorter in future. But still long. If that made any sense. But honestly, people...that last one was like...sixteen or seventeen pages on Word. How much free time do you think I have? Not that much. Therefore, this chapter is shorter. But still long. (makes cartoon dizzy eye face) AND. These two chapters, this one and chapter four, WERE NOT PART OF THE ORIGINAL PLOT. I just added them in after having too much fun with Anica when we got bored. Yes, this is what we do when we're bored. We have no lives. However, before you all despair, I do have the next...either one or two chapters written...and partial ones for two others....so. basically, I just need to get my lazy butt in here to type. So while I make no apologies for taking so long, or promises that this one will be any faster, it is more likely. No writer's block to deal with, you see. Only laziness. So. That's it...um...what are you people still reading this for? Go read the chapter! (coughs) Oh, and review, if you don't mind. That's it. No shameless begging this time. And go review someone else's. We don't want some other poor writer to lose all hope and quit writing, now do we? (coughs again) Anica could always use some, if anyone was inclined...

((Hello, everyone, this is Anica106. It is one o'clock in the morning...again--how does that keep happening?--and I am very tired. So let's get all this said. First of all, if SFD owns Yu Yu Hakusho, it's news to me. Secondly, you know the drill, I proofread, so don't flame her out about grammar; yell at me instead. And lastly, I hope, because my fingers are freezing, she wants me to tell all of you that **this is the last time she's going to say it: this is not and never will be a Hiei/Kurama fic, **It's just joking around. So, with all that said, enjoy the chapter and review her. (grins) (falls asleep at computer)

Ch. 5--Time to Lock the Mushroom Door

"Excuse me, have either of you seen Hiei?" Kurama's soft alto gently interrupted the duo's peaceful eating of ice cream interspersed with Dude's running commentary of his past girlfriends. They looked up, Dude surprised, and the Friar relieved.  
  
"Dude! You like, came out of nowhere! You wanna sit awhile? We still got some ice cream left." He offered Kurama his bowl of half-melted ice cream, which Kurama declined. He couldn't smell any nefarious toxins in it, but better safe than sorry. Especially after he heard what some of the Friar's "special holy plants" really were.  
  
"Kurama. I have just been speaking with your dragonfly," the Friar interspersed. Kurama raised an eyebrow.  
  
"My...dragonfly..." he repeated.  
  
"Yes, yes, your young dark one." the Friar explained impatiently.  
  
"Ah. Yes, of course. Would either of you two happen to know where he has gone, then?" Kurama asked again, politely.  
  
"I believe he has gone to meditate on your love. I have been talking with him and found some not happiness in you both's relationship," the Friar stated importantly. Kurama looked from the Friar to Dude, who was slurping the rest of his ice cream out of his bowl.  
  
"What exactly was in that?" he asked, sneaking sideways glances at the Friar, and wondering privately what on Earth he was babbling on about.  
  
"Did it make you sick?" Dude asked quickly. "I TOLD Tracey that this sugar, fat free stuff wasn't healthy for you, I TOLD her--"  
  
"No no, it's quite alright," Kurama interjected hastily.  
  
"You," the Friar continued, drawing Kurama's attention back to him, "are like, young stallion." Kurama's eyes widened at this and he surreptitiously sniffed the bowl Dude had just abandoned to see if he could detect any traces of suspicious plants. It smelled like sugar fat free vanilla ice cream.  
  
"No...I believe you are mistaken," he said calmly. "I am a human being. Rather ordinary, in fact."  
  
"No no no, your young dragonfly is seeing you as this. Young, powerful....willful. He is seeing you with these others, and hurting from it. He is hurting because you hurt," the Friar concluded. Kurama watched him carefully for a long moment.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked, allowing his confusion to come through into the open. Really, what, in all the three worlds, was he going on about?  
  
"Your youngling, he has...much affection for you, yet...no will to express it. He is...reluctant to let you see. Because of your open attachment to these others." Kurama raised both eyebrows now.  
  
"Has Hiei, er...SAID any of this?" he now inquired, wondering if the Friar wasn't, in fact, quite mad.  
  
"He has expressed to me worry for you about this Youko character. He believes he will hurt you."  
  
'He what?" Kurama's normal articulation seemed to have left him.  
  
"He has told me of this Youko man; he sounds not pleasant to be with," the Friar pressed, watching Kurama carefully. He must hear this one's side of it. And get him to see what a downward circle thing he had gotten himself and now the other one into because of his choice in relationships. Surely after getting that other imbecile to understand, this one would be easy. Kurama must be more reasonable than Hiei.  
  
_He's mad. He must be. Although he did capture Hiei's personality quite realistically. Although, it's understandable that he should be so closed with his emotions. Anyone would be after the life he's had. Most people probably wouldn't even have survived it. I would have, of course, but other people..... _Kurama reflected. _On the other hand, it could prove interesting to hear what he has said to this man....no. I will respect his privacy. Hiei has reasons for telling or not telling me these things.  
_  
((No! I wanna know! The little [has been censored for my peace of mind] probably wouldn't ever remember to tell you. He wouldn't mind if you found out through other means!)) Youko shouted. Kurama winced at the sudden loud intrusion into his skull.

{(Hello again, Youko.)}

((You don't sound so pleased to see me.)) Youko grinned at him.  
{(I'm not.)}

((So cold.))

((Go away.))

((Fine.)) Youko stuck out his tongue at Kurama and retreated back into the depths of Kurama's mind to wherever he stayed when he wasn't intruding on his thoughts with lewd suggestions, all of which involving screwing somebody or stealing something, or both, many of which involved Hiei, and some of which involved chocolate pudding.

"But your dragonfly, he is now learning of your love. You should meet him halfway. Is only fair," the Friar concluded.

Kurama looked at him, feeling a sense of alarm growing in the pit of his stomach. Love? What love did he mean? Surely Hiei didn't think he _loved_ him, did he? Like THAT? The idea was almost too horrifying to contemplate. Hiei would never forgive him if he thought Kurama felt like that. Kurama, of all people, was supposed to know better. Hiei would never accept anyone feeling that way toward him until he was ready. Kurama did think that someday Hiei would find himself someone and live, well, maybe not happily ever after, but definitely interestingly. The person the sullen little koorime did choose at such time would undoubtedly have to be possessed of strong character and mind. Anything less than nerves of steel and willpower akin to that of his death tree plant would be flattened from the sheer force of Hiei's care and commitment.

While he had been thinking all this, Dude had been collecting the ice cream bowls and put them away. He now was walking back, pretending to be wearing roller skates as he did so. The Friar sat, watching the red head in his deep thinking, and warily taking note of Dude's rather sporadic behavior. _Maybe it time to lock door to mushrooms from now on,_ he thought. Kurama looked up suddenly and peered intently at the Friar.  
  
"What exactly has Hiei said?" he pressed. The Friar looked startled, but composed himself quickly.

"You should ask of him yourself."

"What did you tell him then?"

"I told to him only what I felt to be true."

The Friar paused, saw Kurama's warning look in his eyes, and hurriedly continued. "I tell him that I worry for you two. And I see quite clearly that he have feeling for you, but not say to you of it. And he need open up of his thoughts and spend more time with you." The Friar frowned suddenly, leaning forward and poking Kurama in the chest. "He tell me rather concerning things of you two. I worry."

Kurama kneaded his forehead. If Hiei had said something, it was almost certain to have been misunderstood by the language-challenged monk. Or so he could only hope. Could it be, though, that perhaps Hiei felt something about their relationship, something he was not comfortable telling Kurama? Was he upset with something the kitsune had done? Surely he would've said, though? Hiei wasn't the type to let himself be run over, by anyone. And although the fox had a special place in the fire demon's heart, in a way, he very much doubted he'd be allowed to do or say anything that Hiei disapproved of. If he were not already a moral human being, Hiei would certainly have made him into one. HIS morals may not have coincided with most humans, but he had a honor system, and was very strict about it, and often expected Kurama to follow him in his example. The few times they had differed on anything, Hiei had vanished from the ningen world, as far as Kurama had been able to tell, for months at a time, and come back demanding the fox adhere to his code. Although, usually by that time it was academic anyway, as often the situation in question had already passed.

The Friar cleared his throat, drawing Kurama back out from his silent contemplation of the tiny fierce figure he had come to call friend. He looked up, just in time to see Dude go sailing into the broom closet. Mops, buckets and scrubbing brushes flew everywhere. A muffled "ow" could be heard from the depths of the small space.

"Your dragonfly has said you put him the closet," the Friar intoned as once again Kurama allowed his attention to be drawn back to what the plump figure was saying.

"What? Oh, yes, occasionally. Mother would not approve if she saw him in my bedroom so late a night. She thinks he is a friend from school, and would worry if he were not in his own house by then," Kurama conceded amiably. "I tried to have him hide under the bed, but he said it was too degrading of someone of his stature."

The Friar paused. Kurama saying it now made it seem almost reasonable, and he struggled to find what it was that he had had a problem with, exactly. "He is not friend from school?" he asked, hoping to clear their relationship up a bit.

"He contacted me. He had need of my knowledge for something at one point. And we have kept in contact ever since," Kurama continued, smoothly.

"But why is he not in own home so late at night? Surely you can, er...see each other other time?" The Friar forced down a blush before it could make its way up to his face. Kurama looked at him curiously.

"We see each other quite a bit. But Hiei prefers to come to my room at night, when we won't be disturbed." He paused, leaned in as the Friar seemed to choke on something, and added concernedly, "Are you quite alright?" The Friar coughed, spluttered, and nodded.

"But Hiei has said something to me of being put in with force to closet. And there is now a dent from his head in wall." The Friar gave Kurama a stern look.

"Oh, is there? I wouldn't know, I suppose. I need to replace the light bulb in there. But Hiei has a hard head. I would not be surprised if he had dented my wall."

The Friar frowned inwardly to himself. Something here was being missed...but with Kurama saying all this so reasonably, he could not remember what he had been trying to say.

"And your feelings for Youko? Hiei has said you are one person. Surely he means you are close, like to sided coin. He worries about you and him. I see you with your head hurt sometimes. Your dragonfly comes to comfort you in these times. You need say thank you. He try help." The Friar nodded righteously. Kurama watched him, puzzled.

"Has Hiei told you what Youko is like? He is a horrible person, with no feelings for anyone but himself, and wanting only his happiness. He would sacrifice what I have to get what he wants." _Especially now with Hiei_, Kurama thought.

((If you would just let me have him...one night would be enough...)) Youko thought wistfully.

{No. Hiei would never let you, and he would never forgive ME.}

((I think I could bring him around.))

((I rather doubt that.})

((Wanna bet?)) Youko licked his lips. ((We could make it a bargain.))

{NO. Shuichi does not bet.})

((Prissy obnoxious goody two shoes.))

{I'll ignore that.})

Out loud he said, "Hiei has helped me with that. He knows I am grateful."

"Perhaps you should tell him about your problems with this Youko person. He would help."

Kurama shuddered. "I think not. There are some things even friends shouldn't know."

__

Aha! he is thinking of Hiei as only a friend. Perhaps this is the real source of problem. He is in denial. As was the other. They are both in denying of their feelings! the Friar realized.

"What things should friends not know?" The Friar peered keenly at Kurama, who forced himself to remain still and not squirm uncomfortably under this intense inspection as his body so wanted to do.

"Everyone has a right to their own privacy. Some things were never meant to be said," Kurama said somewhat sadly, remembering some of the things Youko had done, most of which Hiei did not know of, in fact, most of which no one knew of apart from himself and Youko.

The Friar gazed at Kurama, wondering what could have the young man looking so pensive. "Is these things, do they do with Youko? This horrible man you associate with?" he asked directly. Kurama looked up at him from where his gaze had dropped to his hands, now resting in his lap.

"Yes," he replied softly.

"Things...your dragonfly knows not of?" the Friar persisted.

"Yes..."

"What do you think your young dragonfly would do if he were to know of these?"

"He would overlook it. He always does." Kurama's voice was vague, his thoughts not on the conversation but on the past. Those things...those horrible things....he would never do them again...not now...surely Hiei would know that? But that one thing...Hiei would never forgive him of that. So, he would never know. But that was not what Kurama was worried about now. He knew Hiei would never know, would never pry into Kurama's past like that without his permission. It was not a concern that Hiei would ever learn, but rather a guilt he now lived with. Another secret burden he must now bear, courtesy of his former life. With great self-control, Kurama forced himself to shake it off and smile at the Friar.

"Forgive me, I was rather sidetracked for a moment," he said calmly. "You said Hiei mentioned Youko?"

"Yes." The Friar watched Kurama disapprovingly. Perhaps it would be harder to convince this one than he had first surmised.

Kurama smiled. "Very well. I shall go and speak with him." He started to rise, but the Friar caught his sleeve and pulled him back down. He peered concernedly into Kurama's eyes.

"He is worried for you," he said intently, voice low. "Your dragonfly. He is so young still....how you say...looks up at you." Kurama hid a smirk at that particular slip up in language. "I think is another that worries both you two. Someone else....." He continued to peer into Kurama's face. Kurama shifted uneasily.

It had been a long shot. A guess only, but the Friar had guessed right; he saw that now by the way the red-hair shifted uneasily in his seat on the floor.

"I do realize Hiei cares for me. I also know he would never openly admit it, to anyone." Kurama looked sternly at the Friar, hoping he would get the message. He did.

"Ah, no words shall be said outside of now. Is sacred, talks of self."

Kurama nodded at this. "Well," he said lightly, "if that is all, I should return to my ....dragonfly..." He smiled, nodded at the both of them, Dude prying the mop bucket off in time to see it and return it, the Friar watching pensively. Kurama turned and walked out, heading towards his home where he knew a certain fire demon was almost certainly eating all his sweet snow.

======================================================

Kurama arrived home and went up to his room after ascertaining that Hiei was not devouring his ice cream in the kitchen. Humming softly to himself, he walked into his bedroom, and stopped, surprised at the sight that greeted him. Hiei was sitting cross legged on his bed staring intently at a small rock with a hole in it that he had placed carefully on the Kurama's window sill so that the sun streamed through. Kurama slowly walked over and sat at his desk, watching Hiei carefully a few moments before deciding to speak.  
  
"Hiei?" When he received no response, Kurama gave him one last odd look, before shrugging to himself and pulling out his school books and getting ready to work. An hour later Shiori called him down for dinner.  
  
"Shuichi? Come on down for dinner, please."

"Yes, Mother, I'll be right down. I need to finish this math problem first."

"Alright, darling. Be down soon, before the rice goes cold."

"I will, mother."

"Kurama?"

Kurama looked over in surprise at Hiei, who seemed to have come out of his trance, and felt his pleased smile appear on his face.

"Hiei? Have you had a good meditating session?" he asked politely. Hiei glared.

"My neck hurts," he snapped waspishly before hopping down off of Kurama's bed. Stretching slowly, he glanced over at the kitsune. "How long was I sitting there?" he asked, voice carefully neutral. Kurama shrugged.  
  
"At least a few hours, since I came home. Why were you, if I may ask."

Hiei shrugged. "The Friar said I should meditate on our love." He kept his face bland.

"Ah," Kurama said, glancing at Hiei a moment before looking over at the rock. He stood, walked over, and picked it up, turning it over. "I suppose, this represents...that?" he asked, looking back at Hiei. Hiei returned the look silently. "There's a hole in it!" Kurama said abruptly, almost indignant as he stared down at the rock.

"I told the Friar that," Hiei said dryly. "He said it was supposed to be there. Something about you and Youko." He shrugged, almost imperceptibly, and turned to the door. " Did I hear dinner?" Kurama nodded absently.

"Go ahead. Tell her you came over to help me work on a report for school and we lost track of time and I invited you to stay for dinner." Hiei nodded, well used to this standard lie, and turned to go. Kurama's voice stopped him at the door. "Hiei....you....why were you meditating on our love?" He turned to look at him, still playing with the stone in one hand absently, a look of vague confusion on his face.

"Don't be ridiculous, kitsune. I wasn't meditating. I was sitting there on your bed thinking how stupid it all was, and I fell asleep." His eyes were carefully mirrored, showing nothing. Kurama looked at him, surprised.

"You...fell asleep?" he asked incredulously. Hiei's eyes shifted away and his stance became slightly more defensive. Kurama continued to stare and then finally Hiei turned to glare viciously at him.

"What?" he asked, irritably. Kurama continued to stare a long moment before finally bursting out into laughter. Hiei's eyes widened at this as the figure before him slumped slowly to the floor, clutching his sides. He narrowed his eyes defensively. "Something you find funny, kitsune?" he snarled. Kurama looked up at the warning tone in the words, and attempted to stop.

"I'm sorry Hiei....I just...I thought...the Friar said something....I'm sorry." He stood up, grinning. "I apologize. I've been slightly worried since speaking with the Friar earlier today. You just relieved that feeling. I thank you." He smiled, seemingly at himself, and walked past Hiei out the door. Sensing the other had not moved, he turned. "I have your sweet snow," he said, remembering the original reason he had come home searching for Hiei. "It's in the freezer. If you behave politely during dinner, I'll let you have it." He smiled at the sullen look Hiei gave him as he stalked out and headed toward the dinner table.


	6. A Brief Respite

Hi everyone. As you've probably noticed, this fic took a little bit of a break. I have uploaded( or gotten Anica to) Kurama's turn with dude and the Friar, and now this chapter. Before anyone flames me for this, this chapter is much shorter. (I distinctly remember saying in the last author note that the consecutive chapters would be. However, although I do retain my right as the author(ess) to make the chapters any length, I do promise most will be longer than this.) It is also, alas, serious. So. (shrugs) That is why this chapter is not longer. I am of the opinion that no good quality fic, if it's going to be carried on a long time, can go completely with out some seriousness in it. For those English nuts of you out there (cough) Anica (cough) this chapter is mainly to make the characters "well rounded." Which, for those of you who care and don't know, I believe that means they have more than the one side we normally see. I'm putting in this chapter because I think it is necessary to make the characters more understandable and likeable. However, it is not necessary to have been read for the rest of this fic to make sense. So, if you don't want to read anything serious....(shrugs), go someplace else. If however, you feel that this chapter won't totally destroy your current opinion of this piece of fiction, or may even improve it....please go ahead and read! ==  
  
Next, I wanted to do some shameless self-promotion.....a few people found my poems I uploaded on here as well...there is one for YYH, and one for X-files. Anyone who wants to check those out, feel free. Also, special note to Songbird2000...(is shocked) you have no idea how funny that was to get that e-mail forwarded to me...you see, a friend of mine sent that to me, and I sent it off faithfully like a good still-partially-uneducated citizen...including to Anica....she didn't have enough "friends" whose e-mails she knew, so she picked random people off of this site and sent it to them. What goes around comes around, I guess. (shakes head) anyway...(grins) I already sent it off to everyone once, so I'm choosing not to do it again....but thank you for sending it to me. (smiles brightly)  
  
Firecracker2: Thanks a lot, I'm glad you like it.(beams) I'm glad to see someone realizes it's all a big mix-up; I keep telling and telling you people...but someone always sends a review in saying they hope this isn't a HxK fic...(shrugs) I promise it's not, people. It's supposed to be funny, that's all. Oh, and thank Anica for the idea of the Monk. I think he was hers...and Dude might've been mine...or maybe that should be reversed...anyway, glad you liked it!  
  
Kurama and Hiei's Lover(): I've seen your name around a few times....what's the () mean? is it supposed to stand for something...or did someone already have the pen name H and K's lover so you put that in to make yours different? Whatever. I was just wondering. Here's the next chapter.....hope you enjoy even if it's not meant to be funny.  
  
netta10290: (shrugs) Well...you're right...I noticed that, too, writing it. Hopefully it was enjoyable anyway. And this won't be, but I can promise the next one will be. Anyway, thank for dropping the review. Bye!  
  
Maki-sama: (grins) thanks....I wrote out Hiei's actions when Kurama came in...and wasn't sure where to go from there...so I thought it would be funny if he had fallen asleep...something he can't believe he's done because he's NEVER unaware of his surroundings...and in front of Kurama, too..I think Kurama's kinda his idol...poor Hiei...  
  
Once again, if I forgot anybody....sorry. I'm only human. And, the chapter after this one will be funny again, so bear with me.  
  
A Brief Respite  
  
Hiei was now sitting on Kurama's windowsill, staring out at the night sky. Kurama glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, knowing that this was a sign of his immanent departure, as though he was trying to get out with out actually leaving.....something Kurama found amusing. He himself was lounging on his bed, reading a book he enjoyed. It was currently his third time reading it, and although he'd tried to get the little koorime to try it himself, Hiei had refused. It was a pity, Kurama mused, that Hiei was so closed minded about ningen things. He would almost certainly enjoy this if he tried it. But it was his call. Kurama wasn't going to make him do it if he didn't want to. People who did attempt such a thing generally didn't remain in the same state as they were previously. Kurama could still vividly remember last night's sweet snow parlor incident, after which he had confiscated the katana. It was just too much temptation for the little demon...sweet snow...his katana...Kuwabara...all in the same room....It hadn't started out badly. In fact, Kurama had been quite pleased that Hiei seemed to be attempting to exercise the manners Kurama had been trying to instill in him since his first visit to the human world. It had all gone quite pleasantly until....

======================================

"Hey, Three-Eyes, you gonna eat all that iice cream yourself?" Kuwabara had already finished his, only seconds before Hiei had started, showing a new world record for consumption of ice cream.

Hiei had taken quite the offense at this statement, seeming to think the question had been posed as a challenge to his eating abilities. The resulting wrestling match had broken two chairs, scared one small child, and given Yusuke a black eye when he tried to intervene. The ice cream had remained unharmed on the table.  
  
Once Hiei had thoroughly "vanquished his enemy," he sheathed his katana, and proceeded to ravish his ice cream bar while the rest looked on. The owner of the parlor, a Mrs. Mamme( as they called her, due to an extremely funny joke from the first time Hiei had met her) had strolled on over, given him another one, and told the others it was time they took him home.  
  
(end flashback)

=============================

"Why're you smiling, fox?" Kurama looked up, startled.  
  
"Nothing, really, Hiei. Don't worry about it." He smiled while Hiei "hn'ed."  
  
"Why did he do that?" he asked abruptly. Kurama gave him a puzzled frown.  
  
"Why did who do what?"  
  
"Kuwabara. Why did he seem so upset when you were made Juliet." It was a statement, not a question. Kurama sighed. He had been hoping to go a little bit longer before broaching that particular topic.  
  
"Because we are two males, Hiei," he said calmly. Hiei gave him a look that clearly said, "so"? "Kuwabara is not one to readily agree to male/male couples."  
  
"But we're not a couple." Again, a statement, not a question. And this statement could have been used as an anvil to break rocks. Kurama tried again, patiently.  
  
"Kuwabara knows that. They all know that. But he is still uncomfortable with the idea."  
  
"It doesn't matter in the demon world," Hiei pointed out. Kurama winced, hoping like heck that Youko hadn't heard, and was, hopefully asleep right now and WOULDN'T hear it.  
  
"Yes, but this isn't the demon world, is it?" he pointed out. He watched as Hiei seemed to be putting these things together in his mind.  
  
"But...the 'romance' scenes, as you call them...what about those?" he asked, slowly realizing the situation clearly for the first time. Kurama was quiet a moment, considering.  
  
"I suppose...the same way he practiced," he answered finally.  
  
"...With a pillow?" Hiei asked, sounding doubtful.  
  
"Um, well, not--not for performances, of course. Because they most certainly never had a pillow in Shakespeare's play."  
  
"So what then?" Hiei steeled himself for the answer.  
  
"Um," Kurama began intelligently.  
  
"We can't practice that way and do it differently in the play," Hiei pointed out, watching Kurama closely. Kurama just looked lost.  
  
"Then I have no idea. I'm sorry Hiei. I hadn't given it much thought."  
  
"We don't have to do anything...." Hiei trailed off, his gaze still locked on Kurama, who was starting to find himself annoyed by it. Could he help it if he hadn't foreseen this when he tried out?  
  
"...I don't know Hiei. The scripts a little more liberal than I had originally thought...but I'm positive he don't have to actually DO anything. " He paused, and smiled over at Hiei who sat tensed and prepared to flee from his crouching position on the far side of the window sill. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't like you like that. I'm fairly certain I'm straight." He indulged in an ironic smile. Hiei relaxed marginally.  
  
"I don't like you either, fox." Kurama bit his tongue to keep from pointing out that wasn't exactly what he had said.  
  
"So what do you think of me, Hiei?" he asked pleasantly. The little koorime's eyes widened and he stared back at Kurama. He shifted uncomfortably and glanced at the floor to avoid the kitsune's gaze.  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked, voice gruff to cover over his confusion and embarrassment.  
  
"Well, we've been partners for quite some time now, Hiei. And in all that time, we've never really talked like this. So, quite simply, what. Do. You. Think. Of. Me?" Hiei scowled.  
  
"You've been in the ningenkai to long, kitsune, if you think these things matter." Kurama merely continued to look at him. Hiei snarled irritably. "You're smart. You're a good fighter. You're old. You're stupid to remain here with all these ningens and act as one." He paused, and risked a glance up at Kurama, to find him smiling gently, with no expectations or requirements of any kind on his face. No demands being made. It shocked Hiei, quite suddenly, to realize that the kitsune was always like this. That part of the reason he came to Kurama's house in the first place was because he was never made to feel as if he were anything. There was nothing here in this room, that he had to live up to. Good or bad. And that Kurama, for all his worldly experience, and age, never made him feel the way everyone else did. He could relax around the kitsune. The impact of this realization almost winded the koorime.  
  
Continuing, in a low, soft voice so he would have the option to deny all this later, Hiei continued. "Your very understanding," Hiei murmured. "Others...assume they know everything, and have it all figured out. They judge, and live their lives too blind to see what's before them. You aren't. You've been around a long time, and although I don't approve of this current way of life for you, you continue to learn. " He gaze flickered over to the book still in Kurama's hand. His lips quirked up in a semblance of a smile. "You've spent you whole life learning and decided that the only certainty in this life is that there are none. You watch and learn before moving. You never act out of haste; you study. And you understand things because of it. Things like, these ningen emotions." He looked up at Kurama seriously. "I doubt I will ever understand you in this, Kitsune. I'm not meant to. But you are, and you do--well."  
  
"When you met me, you could've cast me off like everyone else and you didn't. You didn't like me, and I respect that. But you didn't desert me. Even when everyone else had. You had no reason to take me in like you did. No one in the makai survives long acting as you did. No one except you. You taught me....you see me in a way that no one else does...not even me." His gaze had locked with Kurama's, and had steadily grown stronger and more confident as he continued. It had now reached the point where it seemed possible it would penetrate lead. Kurama returned it.  
  
"You...cared. When no one would. I never understood that. I still don't. I would never have done the same thing in your place. But I thank you, Kitsune." He bowed his head respectfully, then resumed speaking. "You have my loyalty, and my respect." He smirked. "Probably the only one who does, I might add. And, if you want it...you have whatever I have to offer in the way of friendship." He raised a brow at Kurama, telling him without words that this wasn't necessarily a benefit. Look who he was after all. But he meant it. Even thought he'd most likely never mention or acknowledge this night, ever again, Kurama knew he still meant it.  
  
He nodded, a slight smile still resting easily on his lips, not daring to change the atmosphere in the room and cause the smaller demon any discomfort after having taken him into his confidence like that. Hiei was not one to offer such gifts as loyalty, respect, and friendship. As far as Kurama knew, he had never openly done this with anyone. He had waited through his little tirade at the beginning, knowing that the first words Hiei spoke were not real, meant nothing. Those were the words of the Hiei he wanted everyone to see, that he could accept everyone seeing. They were only the barest of truths, the plainest and most distant of observances. He had waited patiently for that Hiei to pass, knowing he would. The others would never have understood; they saw Hiei as he wanted them to see. Kurama knew better; he had seen and done a fair bit of his own acting, in his day, and knew when another was also. Yusuke and the rest never waited for the mask to remove itself, assuming that Hiei existed only in mind, or only to Kurama. Perhaps it did.  
  
He smiled. He respected Hiei's unspoken terms, and knew they would never again mention this conversation, or this night, ever. "Thank you, Hiei. I would be honored to accept your gift of friendship," he replied calmly, putting all his understanding into the words. The look in Hiei's eyes relaxed a little as he understood that Kurama knew.....and that he would never tell.  
  
Hiei nodded and curled up on the window sill, turning his back on the fox abruptly. "You need to sleep, fox. You have school tomorrow," he stated firmly, and drifed off, exhausted from the emotions spent in that past half-hour. Kurama watched, thoughtfully as Hiei's breathing relaxed, becoming deeper and steadier, but still light enough to wake quickly should the need arise. _Hiei really was meant to live in the Makai, _Kurama pondered. He thought back on his words of earlier. "_You understand things, things like these ningen emotions...I doubt I ever will. I'm not meant to. but you are."  
_  
"You do understand, Hiei. You just don't realize it yet," Kurama murmured to the still night air. Rising, he walked over and turned off the light. "gGood night Hiei," he said softly, turning over himself on the bed, and pulling the covers up around his shoulders. Only silence answered him.  
  
Well....hope you all liked...I did. I thought it was sweet...and easy to write, surprisingly. Hiei usually requires about three or four revisions to get more or less correctly...but this wrote itself. Alright, you all know the drill. Read, review. If you feel like being nice, Anica always needs the encouragement. Check out my poems if you so desire; next chapter will go back to it's usual funniness.....(I don't think that's a word...-.-)


	7. Portrait in Black and Red

SkyFireDragon13: Well! Look at this Anica! I wrote a poem!

Anica: (makes I'm-not-impressed face) Oh, good job. Yippee.....

SkyFireDraon: Your not still sore over all the time we role played on those last two chapters, are you?

Anica:(kneads temples) No. Of course not. I've only got the BIGGEST HEADACHE KNOWN TO HUMANITY!!!! Honestly, can't we ever do these things at some decent hour? Like, before midnight?

SkyFireDragon13:.......

Anica: You have no idea what I'm talking abut, do you?

SkyFireDragon13:...not really......but I'll take your word for it. (offers gold fish) here. They're pizza flavored!

Anica: (makes another face) Thanks. That really helps. Are you finally done with this thing now? Can I post it yet?

SkyFireDragon13: I guess.....

Anica: Um.....might want to tell the readers that this is a poem, not a story....and it's from the Friar's point of view, about what he thinks Hiei and Kurama's relationship is.....they might be a little confused if you....hey!! Come back here! Your not going to bed NOW! I've still gotta check this! Yago!

Disclaimer: Nope. No own. i thought i did for awhile...but Anica corrected me about that....I think I own Dude and Friar though...and jocasta, our muse...(mutters) for what she's worth.....(pokes Jocasta) Go bother Anica with useless inspiration now. She needs to update HER other story.

So is flying the smallest dragon fly  
littler, and yet, to prove much he desires.  
Black he is, and would have many believe inside as well  
and yet he stays, still, near his other.

walking on is the proud, red One  
head is high, mane of flame flowing free.  
so easy is his face, open as the land he lives  
Stallion, strong and red; youth is in his eyes.

So flies the dragon fly, strong on own  
and stronger, with another, black resting on red.

together they are, happy in their being  
one but separate, they are few.  
Alone they are standing,  
when many they could be.  
the red one, he is kind,  
and could many have with him  
Shares of though, he cares for much  
Amiable and smiles much  
loving of touch that is comforting.  
A dragon, the other would be,  
alone always, strong-  
fire-breathing anyone who call his name

The red, he would peace be bringing  
much hides inside his past and  
time for game he have no more.

Differences so many, alikeness, so few  
but small is the dragon fly  
big is world outside,  
and even dark ones needs a home.  
Old and young both is he-  
red stallion. Free going where he please  
but long is road, and lonely

Red on Black, Black on Red  
he could be alone  
survive on top of all  
and share with none.  
Instead he need another-  
little dragon fly, he rest upon  
warm red skin  
swiftly, proud tall one,  
small one being with him always be.  
Sometime running,  
Sometime riding,  
Sometime flying,  
no more be said as  
side by side  
he and him  
they glide.


	8. When Heaters Explode or Put Down The Buc...

Hello everyone....all my dear peoples......(shrugs) yeah, it's been awhile....um, everyone who wants this fic to continue give a big thanks to rosin-sniffer who sent me a review like, a week or so ago and made me remember this fic was still on here waiting to be worked on some more. (holds up hands) What can I say, I'm human. This chapter was written awhile ago, and I seem to have misplaced the first part, so....I apologize in advance if it isn't entirely coherent.......I'll try my best. Oh, and thank Anica too for proofing, now that she's a big tough college student(rolls eyes) (mouths: who doesn't even have time to get online and roleplay with me anymore!!!!!!) (takes deep breath) ok.

**Review Responses:**

**_Robin Autumn-_** well, ok then. Oh, and I like your OLO, and I'm going to start using it myself. (beams) I agree with you about the serious/humorous thing. What's odd is my poems are generally morbid.....and my stories aren't serious....(shrugs) Whatever. I'd like it very much if you wanted to check out those (my poems) on , under my penname fairyfeet. Enjoy the chapter.

**_Fire Sidoni-_** thx, enjoy this one 2.

**_Kurama and Hiei's lover-_** here ya go

**_netta1029-_** well, Hiei's better for slapstick humor, Kurama's better for...erm.....higher level intellectual humor? I guess? Don't worry, a really funny one for him especially is planned. Not for a while though, so keep reading. Oh, and very relieved you like ch. 6, I worried about people's reactions....

**_Maki-sama-_** I rather thought so too....to be honest, that idea was Jocasta's...I reread what I'd typed and went, 'heh heh...good one...where'd that come from?'

**_tbris-_**glad you like it

**_jus kita- _**sanku very mooch. (makes poor attempt at accent because is getting bored with normal one.)

**_Shadow Jaganshi-_** well well well, thx, for all your reviews, I truly enjoyed reading them. I like to think it's improving as I go...you know, seasoning with age? Like wine? sorta? Honestly, I blush when I read the first couple because they seem to lack so much compared to later ones.

**_What2callmyself-_** Glad to see you back! Drop in a/g soon!

**_rosin-sniffer-_**(makes confused face) ...the penname? u've got me confused...anyway, um, I'm sure you can write like that...the trick is to read a bunch of well done work and THEN write your own....because then you automatically try and copy it....(shrugs) that's the only advice that I have.

**Shameless Review Begging Spot:** yes, I am bringing back this part! It seemed to work fairly well the last time I tried it. pretty pretty pretty PLEASE review everyone? I love reading them.......I even reply to each one personally....or I try to....(makes cute face) You know you wanna....(trails off) ok, enough of that. story time.

Next Morning

Hiei and Kurama walked along in companionable silence. Neither felt the need to say anything, especially after all the emotions and words spent the night before. So content were they to stroll to play practice each lost in their own thought, Botan's arrival was less than welcome, although Kurama hid this better then Hiei.

"What IS it, baka ferry girl?" He snarled, folding his arms firmly across his chest and scowling fiercely at the intruder. _Hn. Does she have nothing better to do than show up at inconvenient moments and spread good cheer?_

Kurama hid a smile at the two of them as Botan pouted at the reaction she had received.

"Why are you always in such a bad mood, Grumpy Bear?" she teased, reaching out as though to poke him in the ribs, and then pulling back as if thinking better of it. "Smile! It hasn't killed anyone else yet, it won't kill you!"

Hiei's expression could have frozen a regular human walking by had they got in the way of it, and he turned swiftly and walked off without another word. Kurama raised an eyebrow at Botan indulgently as the girl wilted visibly.

"That wasn't, perhaps, your wisest of comments," he remarked calmly, amusement showing in his voice.

"I know," Botan sighed. "I just wish he'd cheer up every once in a while. He's always so negative; how can he live like that?" She looked at Kurama helplessly and he smiled and patted her arm once before setting off to follow Hiei's footsteps, Botan falling in next to him.

_Poor ferry girl, she can't stand it when people aren't cheerful and having fun. It probably results from being surrounded by death by the time. Death usually isn't a welcomed thing. You either give in to that atmosphere and turn bitter and resentful or you remain stubbornly cheerful to spite it. No wonder she's always so eager to accompany us on our missions._ "He is happy, a lot more than he would like to admit, Kurama said comfortingly. _Even to himself. "_So he doesn't."

"Where is my Juliet?" The director shouted. They had arrived, and late it appeared. "We have to get to work; we don't have forever! Time is slipping past even as we speak! This is going to be an absolutely breathtaking performance, and we are going to be proud of it!" He had broken down to his sister about how badly things were progressing the night before and she had lent him a self-help book that told him the first step to fix the problem was to inject inspiring words into it and the people around you. And to do it enough that you believed them. He himself was doubtful of this tactic's potential for success, but figured after the last practice it definitely couldn't hurt. It didn't seem to be working, however.....

"I don't know if I'd go that far," Yusuke said, grinning, next to the directors ear. "It might be breathtaking, but not because it's really good....or something to be proud of...maybe you should try for one out of three. That's not to bad, that's like...." he paused while he scrunched his forehead in deep though, as though this would help, and announced loudly, "45!" Everyone around him stared in disbelief, and Kurama made a mental note to have Keiko go over percents with him once she got better. It seemed she'd caught a cold and stayed home sick today.

"Juliet!" The director bellowed, reddening in either fear that Yusuke was right, or annoyance that he was not rehearsing. He wasn't entirely sure which one.

"Here," Kurama said calmly, rubbing his ears discreetly.

"And my Friar? Where is my Friar?" He asked, not lowering his volume one bit, Kurama noted somewhat sourly. The director turned away and stomped off in search of the Friar, who appeared to have no other name, at least not in Japanese, leaving Kurama to go up on the stage by himself. Vaguely he wondered where Hiei had got to.

( I was wondering that as well.) Youko purred from somewhere inside his head. ( Just where has that lovely little morsel disappeared to this time?) he licked his lips lasciviously. Kurama closed his eyes in defeat. It really was too much to expect, he supposed, that Youko would leave him alone...even in his own head he was never alone. He wondered if this might be what people with schizophrenia felt like.

((Hello, Youko. It would seem that Hiei and the Friar had a bit of a discussion about you the other day.))

(Oh really?) Youko stretched, feigning indifference. ( Did they say anything I want to hear?)

((That you were a two faced, violent, uncaring, horrible, despicable person)) Kurama said passionately.

(Aw, how sweet. I didn't know you cared,) Youko drawled sarcastically. (Glad to know I'm so highly thought of.)

Kurama snorted. ((if you wanted to be highly thought of, I think a slight change in attitude and moral standing is in order.))

(Oh please,) Youko snorted dismissively, flicking his tail. Kurama imagined he could feel the tip tickle the inside of his head, by his ear. He resisted the urge to reach up and scratch. ( Don't tell me we're going to have this boring talk again. I have no problem with who I am, thank you very much. And no guilt over my actions, I might add.)

((Of course you don't,)) Kurama thought back viciously. ((You save that all for ME, don't you? Why ever would the great Youko Kurama regret anything HE had done?))

Youko paused at the vindictive tone in Kurama's voice. (What?)

((How on EARTH can you sit here in MY head, and think thoughts like THAT about HIEI, when you so thoughtfully gave ME your memories about what you did? You're a despicable censored again for my peace of mind.))

Youko paused, considering. (Oh....you mean about that? Well, this suits my character, don't you think? I didn't care then, why would I care now?)

Kurama glared at him, seething inside. He flashed back on his and the Friar's discussion of the day before. _"There are some things friends shouldn't know...."_ Yes, there WERE some things friends shouldn't know. Some things no one should know. And it was just like Youko to leave him with the memories of these things and then sit there and drool over the very person they were about and leave Kurama to deal with the guilt of it. He sighed. It didn't matter. Youko saw no wrong in it, or in what he had done...or been planning to do. Personal morals was just a phrase to him, meaningless.

(If you're QUITE done philosophizing about my moral status.....) Youko drawled.

((I'm done. I don't know why I even wasted my time on you.))

(Oh, ow...that stung! Oh no! Kurama, don't be like this! You can't mean that!) Youko wailed loudly, grabbing at hid heart in mock hurt, and twisting his body into a tangled mess of limbs on the floor of Kurama's mind. Just how and why there was a floor in there Kurama would have to speculate on later.

Hiei waited awhile, safe in the wings behind a large box of props that had yet to be moved to a better place because the roof leaked everywhere else they tried to put it, and watched the kitsune's face as he went through yet another inner battle with himself. Youko and Kurama often got into disagreements about things, and Youko's seductive nature was not lost on Hiei, who knew one of his favorite games was to make dirty suggestions to him when Kurama was speaking to someone he wished to impress or speaking in front of the class, just to see his reaction. Kurama always threw a temper tantrum later in private with only Hiei to see. Hiei never said, but secretly enjoyed these tantrums....it was relieving to see that even Kurama could loose his cool. Without them, it would have been easy to think of him as perfect, inhuman even. And even though he technically WAS inhuman, Hiei still found that image Kurama projected extremely irritating. Even more so because he almost wanted to believe it. But this argument must've been especially wearing, because the fox looked worn out over something. Hiei sighed mentally and figured he should probably step in and save him before he tried to knock himself out like he had the other day in an effort to shut Youko up. He walked over and hit Kurama very hard in the stomach.

Kurama gasped at the sudden unexpected attack, and doubled over. It hadn't hurt near that much, but it gave him the chance to subtly reach into the secret pocket sewn into the inside of his jacket for his seeds. Straightening, he held onto his front, as though hurting from the hit. It HAD stung, but he was going to ignore that. Looking around, his gaze dropped onto Hiei. He looked in utter bewilderment at the smaller demon who stood quite calmly with his hands behind his back. It had to have been him who punched him.

"Hiei? what..."

"Hn. Baka fox. You're getting lazy and leaving your guard down. You better hope you don't get killed the next time you're in the makai." With that, Hiei turned around and walked off. Kurama stared after him for a minute before smiling slightly and releasing the seeds back into his pocket. Leave it to Hiei to get someone's attention by hitting them.

(Doesn't look as though he suffered too much from the great harm I supposedly did him,) Youko muttered. Kurama stiffened, then let the comment go.

Just then a voice broke through all thoughts, and Kurama turned to see what was going on at the other end of the stage.

"What scene this is?" the Friar asked, staring at his script. "This is making no senses."

"The DEATH scene!" the director hollered before sitting down and taking a great gulp of water. The book had also suggested meditation, but he figured this was as close as he was going to get. He counted to 10 before swallowing.

"Why you say so loud? I not deaf." The Friar looked at him, puzzled.

"Then DO it," came the reply, and he shrugged and turned to the appropriate page just as Dude ambled up to him and peered over his shoulder.

"Dude, like, I totally almost skipped practice today. I didn't know you'd left. Why didn't you wake me?"

The Friar looked at him and sighed. His patience was being tested by God. There was no other explanation for his having been saddled with someone so annoying yet likeable. He glanced over as Yusuke wandered up in time to hear this.

"Man, do you guys like, live together?" he asked incredulously.

"We are sharers of a space," the Friar said primly.

"Man, the Friar and I are like, one and the same," Dude told Yusuke happily. "We're, like, learning about the stars."

Yusuke watched Dude warily for a minute before looking back to the Friar.

"Uh huh," he said dryly. "I bet living with him's a trip," he added, leaning over to whisper in the Friars ear. the Friar looked over at Dude, who had wandered over to study the heater set into the wall near by. The stage could get incredibly cold at times, especially once winter started, and even more especially when it was not working properly, as was currently the case.

"I am enduring my trial," he said by way of reply.

"Yeah,"Yusuke muttered, unconvinced. "Still, though, " he added, watching Dude pry the lid off the control panel, "he's a cool guy and everything."

The Friar shuddered. "He is unto me like a hornet up a horse's nose."

Yusuke watched the Friar for a minute after this pronouncement, then looked back at Dude.

"I have no idea what that means," Yusuke finally admitted. "But it sounded deep."

"I am man of many deepnesses," the Friar responded, before falling silent. Yusuke was about to respond to this when a loud shriek echoed around the room, loud enough and shrill enough to rival that of Brittany's adoring Juliet siren. Everyone winced, and turned to see what in all the three worlds could produce a sound like that.

It was Botan.

More to the point, it was Botan running around the room shrieking about a bee in her hair. Keiko and Kuwabara were following her around the room, trying to stop her from running herself off the stage or into one of the boxes of props that were stacked everywhere while water damaged closets were being cleaned out. Keiko had her shoe in hand, apparently to swat the menace, and Kuwabara had a bucket of water, for Lord only knows what purpose.

"EEEEEIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Botan shrieked again, running faster and flailing her arms frantically. "Get it off get it off get it off MEEEEEE!!!" She rounded the ladder propped up against on column that was parked in the middle of the stage and careened wildly back the other way, Keiko close on her heels.

"Botan! Slow down! Just stand there and I'll get it for you!" she wailed, quickly getting out of breath from all this unexpected action.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Kuwabara hollered. "I'll drown it!"

_Ah,_ Thought Yusuke. _So that's what the bucket's for._

"KUUUURRAAAMMMMAAAA!!!!" Botan wailed, turning again, and coming full tilt into the owner of the name she'd just called. They both went down with an audible "ooph," and rolled together off the edge of the stage. Keiko's eyes widened to the size of rice bowls and she hurried to the edge to see what had become of her friends. Kuwabara followed close behind.

"Botan!" Keiko moaned, looking down on the pair below. A muffled groan answered her and then, after a minute of something fairly close to silence, Kurama's soft alto came drifting up.

"I think it's dead, Botan. The poor insect didn't know what hit it."

There was another long pause, while everyone else got bored enough to come over and peer down over the side as well. They lined up and looked down as one unit. Botan was sprawled on her back with her pink kimono flipped up a little past her knees and hair much disarrayed. She looked out of breath and surprised. Kurama lay directly under her, on his stomach, they're backs touching, looking probably, Hiei thought, as flat as he felt. Their hair was spread out together all around them, a contrasting sea of blue and red.

Hiei knelt down and cocked an eyebrow at Kurama. "I suppose you were prepared for that attack too," he said. Kurama turned his face toward him and looked very much as thought he were considering giving Hiei a rather derogatory hand gesture.

"Where's the bee?" Keiko asked, hesitantly. It didn't seem as though Kurama was currently in the best of moods. Kurama turned his face the other way and nodded to a smear on the floor next to them. Botan looked over to where he'd indicated, shrieked again, and jumped up, plowing smack into the side of the stage and falling down again. She quickly scooted away on her rear, and scuttled up the stairs and clung to Keiko.

Kurama picked himself up with much more grace and carefully followed. Hiei watched him make his way up. _Stupid fox._

(Ye-oowww....) Youko muttered, rubbing his backside. (I felt that one. Took me clean off my feet when you pitched over the edge.) Kurama elected to ignore both him, and the pair of disdainful red eyes fixed upon him. He instead came over to where Botan stood, shaking, and clutching Keiko's sleeve, sniffling.

"Are you alright, Botan?" he inquired. Botan shook her head no.

"She's had this major fear of bees ever since she was a child and got stung on the throat and they discovered she was allergic," Keiko informed them all. "She nearly died because no one knew what it was that had stung her. No one expected a ningen insect to have such a violent reaction with her."

"Is ok. In my home country, bees are much larger," the Friar said comfortingly. "Over in there, they are deadly." Botan "eep"ed and clung to Keiko some more, and Yusuke bonked the Friar on the head.

"Idiot! You don't tell a girl that! especially not when she's hysterical!" he snapped. Both girls stiffened.

"What exactly do you mean by that extremely sexist statement, Yusuke Uremeshi?!?!" Keiko demanded, putting her non-occupied fist on hip.

"That is much painful. God does not condone unnecessary violence against another fellow follower. He spit upon them like a lamb onto salt," the Friar said, rubbing his head.

"Yusuke, I'm sorry if I seem a _little_ hysterical to you, but what if it had been YOU that almost died because of one! How would YOU feel about them??" Botan demanded. Kurama opened his mouth to say something but was cut short.

"Hello? Earth to Botan, I DID die, remember? You were the one who annoyed the heck out of my spirit while I was waiting on her to kiss me back to life!" Yusuke shouted angrily, pointing at Keiko, who reddened.

"Don't think for one minute that I don't sometimes regret doing that, Uremeshi," she told him, sniffing."You are such an insufferable--"

"Really! You should have a bit more understanding than this, especially since you know what it's like!" Botan snapped.

"Do you see ME running away from cars anytime one gets near me? Do you?" Yusuke demanded.

"I think I am going to have a sit down," the Friar told the air next to him. "My head is spinning like a very fast spinning train thing." He wandered off. No one noticed. They should have.

"Yusuke! You are so insensitive!"

"I was standing up for you! What're you doing getting all on my back for?" Yusuke demanded hotly.

"If you aren't going to do so nicely, then don't at all!" Keiko snapped.

"Yes. We don't need you to help us," Botan agreed, both of them now standing inches away from Yusuke and looking very intimidating indeed. Yusuke gulped and looked around for some help.

"Kurama," he said desperately. "You saw what happened, who do you side with--"

Before Kurama could form an answer, even before Yusuke could really finish his question, a loud explosion shot through the air, followed by a rush of hot steam and foul smelling gas.

"We're under attack! We're under attack! Everyone duck and cover!" Kuwabara yelled, running over, scooping both Keiko and Botan into his arms, and running into the nearest closet. Kurama and Hiei had immediately dropped to one knee, heads ducked down arms up, sword and seed drawn, watching the direction of the explosion tensely, searching for any movement. Keiko and Botan shrieked from inside the closet.

"Kuwabara, you put us down!"

Omg, omg.....we're gonna die! Botan, we're gonna die!"

Yusuke and Dude had been nearer the direction of the explosion than the rest and had been knocked back on their rears, where they now lay, stunned momentarily. Yusuke stared groggily at the cloud of steam.

"Lookit, Krwam'a," he muttered, one eye dropping closed. "The demon's got a robe." He passed out, Dude right with him, both dropping into the field of dreams.

The director had stormed over to stop the yelling match of a minute before and was now currently pushing his way out of the other closet where he'd apparently been thrown and was stomping toward Hiei and Kurama angrily.

"What have I said about bringing weapons to practice? Someone could get HURT!" he yelled, waving his arms wildly at Hiei, who gave him his best, "what-on-earth-are-you-doing-sharing-my-planet" look. The director stopped--all of them did-- hearing a wheezing sound coming from the middle of the steam cloud.

"Kurama." Hiei's voice was low and tense. "Do you hear that? It sounds like the demon Zabanephanee."

"I heard, Hiei......I can't see anything. Can you?"

Hiei shook his head mutely. "No ki either," he noted, watching the steam, eyes narrowed to slits.

"Could have it hidden," Kurama mused, peering closer. He stopped. "I see it."

"Where, kitsune?" Hiei spared a quick glance over at his partner, and then went back to searching.

"There. It's not a very big demon....rather short and squat."

"That could mean it IS--" Hiei started, but Kurama shook his head.

"He's in jail right now. Sentenced to 500 years. Got caught on a menial rape and torture charge on a lesser demon over 175 years ago. He's not out yet."

"How can you be sure?" Hiei didn't bother to speculate on _how_ the fox knew all this. He knew it would lead nowhere.

"He and Youko were loose contacts. If he were to get out, the first thing he'd do would be to come to me. He's weak and scared--needs someone bigger and badder to hide behind." Kurama fell silent as the figure started walking forward, tightening his grip on his seeds. He didn't dare bring out his rose whip in public.

Hiei tensed slightly too, preparing to leap and perform the killing stroke. If it wasn't the demon he thought it was, then it was best to kill now and ask questions, such as who he was, later.

"Hold it--" the Director started to say, but was cut off as both demons lunged simultaneously and attacked the shadow.

There was another loud "ooph." A silence rang out, every bit as loud as Botan's scream of earlier. A brief scuffle, and then the mist moved as three figures stumbled out, two holding onto a very bedraggled middle one.

It was Hiei, Kurama....and the Friar.

"What place is this? One cannot sit on boxes without finding himself about to enter next world? Is very wrong country!" the Friar said, sounding bewildered and indignant.

"What on earth?" the director wondered.

"It wasn't a box," Kurama sounded amused.

"The fool sat on the broken heater. It's exploded," Hiei snapped, jerking his arm away and straightening his cloak with an air of wounded dignity. He had thought it was a real challenge, a powerful demon.....the steam and smell of sulfur gas fit the description of a few.....but no. It had been a mere ningen. And Kurama had stopped him from slaughtering the hapless thing. He ground his teeth together.

The director sighed, and rubbed his temples again viciously. Another practice gone down the drain. "We've been meaning to get that fixed," he said. "But no one seemed to know what was wrong with it. They said to leave it and they would come back soon and take it apart and look at it."

"I think it's been taken apart then," Yusuke declared. He and Dude had recovered from their hit, and Yusuke had wandered back into the mist to inspect what was left of the heater. Dude stood, staring incredulously.

"Dude! Do you like, KNOW what this is?" They all shook their heads mutely. "This is, like, ANCIENT. I haven't seen this model in years! It's, like, a Mortley 4.5, with steam combustion powered antifreeze, and ball-bearing rotator column. They stopped making these back in, like, the 70's.....they had a tendency to let the circuitry spring get wrung too tight, and it plugged up the engine. See, these babies run on half electricity and half steam power. It was part of the government's new tries at conserving energy. They had some good ideas, but technology just wasn't on their side, man. The steam chute got clogged on this one, and the spring rusted right out of place. There was nowhere for anything go, so it kept building up pressure. It's amazing that it didn't take out this whole half of the building when it went. The gauge says it was sitting at, like, around 500 jubes......That's enough to lift a small elephant off the ground!"

Everyone just stood there, looking at Dude in amazement. Kurama slowly blinked himself out of his daze, tentatively walked over and inspected the mess.

"He's right," Kurama said, dazed. "I thought all of these had been removed and destroyed a long time ago. They've been illegal for over twenty years. This is probably the last one of its kind....It's incredible that it lasted this long. The general life expectancy for them was around three to four years."

There was silence. Then Youko smacked Kurama on the inside of his head. (Dork!) he snarled. Hiei looked at Kurama as though he were very much wanting to do the same thing, but had far to much dignity.

"What on Earth are you two nerds babbling about?' Yusuke demanded. "Why do you know about this? Neither of you had even been born when this happened!"

((Actually, I found out about it in my last days as you, Youko. You did the research on it. I pulled that from your memory. We were going to see if there were any possibilities for designing an appropriate punishment for any who trespassed into our territory.)) Kurama answered smoothly. Youko's eye twitched.

(You're still a dork.)

"HEY! Somebody out there! Can we come out yet?!?!" Botan's voice sailed out of the closet. Everyone blinked, having forgotten about the three people still inside. Kurama went over and unlocked the door. The three came spilling out, looking green.

"Man, I don't ever wanna be in small spaces again!" Kuwabara declared, bending at the waist and taking deep loud breaths to calm himself. "I felt like I was going to pass out or something."

"Oh my.....It really smells out here," Keiko gasped, clapping her hand over her mouth.

"So, director dude, are we done for today?" Yusuke asked curiously."I mean, we can hardly see with all this fog."

The director himself moaned and nodded weakly, giving in. "Yeah....go on and get lost, all of you," he said, slumping in his seat.

"That's a very wise idea," Kurama said, looking around. "Because that gas is sulfur nitrous. It's a by-product of the chemical reaction in the heater when pressure builds up to high. It's terribly poisonous in large doses." Everyone looked at him, and then moved as one to the door.

"Ice cream time!" Yusuke announced, sailing out and laughing.

"Dude! Like, wait for me!" Dude hollered, and scrambled out after him. Everyone else exited right on their heels. Kurama looked down at Hiei.

"Ready to go?' he asked, smiling. "We can go have ice cream with the others."

"Hn. No chance, fox. You have sweet snow at your house as well," Hiei told him, and strolled out, arms clasped firmly behind his back, chin up, dignity rolling off him in waves. Kurama smiled at his back, and turned to the director. The director opened one eye at him and waved tiredly.

"I'll be along in a minute," he sighed. Kurama shrugged and followed Hiei out the door to his house. He was happy. This play was turning out to be even more interesting than he'd originally thought.

A/N: That's it. (pants) By the way, if you're wondering about some of the stuff Youko said, it's in Anica's story "Cracks in the Mask." Our stories are in kind of the same timeline, so...if you're curious, go check hers out. Later, review please!


End file.
